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News In Brief

Nightclub under fire for mirrors that show reflection of person’s worth

Stereophonics new album made using Welsh Herald, pair of scissors and a hat

NHS starts search for new incompetent and uncaring chief executive

Single fathers call for Ofsted MILF rating

British Soap Awards wins Most Pointless Event in the Universe Award

Northampton corner shop named as only UK business to pay full corporation tax

Arsenal win race to be embarrassed in Europe

‘I heard Feldman not saying it,’ claims Grant Shapps

Man does something else

Police bust ‘fake echidna’ hedgehog racket

Plain cigarette packaging ‘will revolutionise back-of-fag-packet planning’, claims Cameron

Walking Through Storm Holding Head up High causes surge in Liverpool personal injury claims

Rejected postman lacked ‘professional walking experience’

EU ‘broke my heart’ complains dumped fish

John Humphrys wins Celebrity Masterchef with grilling technique

Adult entertainment industry mourns death of last man to pay for porn

Homeless hit by ‘spare cardboard box tax’

Severely imprisoned murderer seeks ‘right to escape’

Police once again in breach of guidelines on guideline breaching

Scotland Yard Productions ‘cock-a-hoop’ as ‘Celebrity Dawn Raid’ wins second series