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Other stories by Jesus H

Glastonbury goers ‘furious’ as Chris de Burgh announced as emergency headline act

‘I’m currently working with festival co-ordinators to see how we can stretch out a performance of The Lady in Red over two days.’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2015
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Jesus H

Nick Clegg claims window seat on the tube in early fight back

Battered Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, still bruised from his party’s shattering losses in yesterday’s election, has already come back fighting after securing a decent window seat on the Bakerloo line to work this morning.

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Posted: May 8th, 2015
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Jesus H

BBC asks Google to ‘forget the 1970s’

Bosses at the BBC have instructed the tech team at Google to ‘completely forget everything that happened in the 1970s’

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Posted: May 1st, 2015
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Jesus H

UK desperately hoping America loves James Corden

People who own televisions in Great Britain are really hoping that American TV viewers instantly take to James Cordon, so much so that they selfishly keep him Stateside and refuse to sell any show he’s involved with to any non-US broadcasters.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2015
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Jesus H

Tesco daffodil incident ‘first stage of Backward Evolution’, warns science

Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions.

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2015
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