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Other stories by Jesus H

Royal Family finally granted Jennie Bond restraining order

'The name's Bond. Can I have a look in your bin...?'‘We’ve had several run-ins with Jennie over the years for approaching members of the family with a Fisher Price microphone that wasn’t actually connected to anything’.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2014
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Jesus H

Man points out how dark it’s getting

‘I try explaining to him every year that, the Earth is tilted at 23.5 degrees relative to the plane of orbit around the sun. As the year goes on, the North Pole gradually points away from the sun, hence why the northern hemisphere experiences more dark than light during winter’.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2014
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Jesus H

Spain snaps-up disused ‘Go Home Vans’ to rid Costa Del Sol of ‘annoying English’

Nobody expected the Spanish exposition ‘They’re just really rubbish tourists; they can’t even tan properly.’

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
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Jesus H

Men likely to experience much more deadly strain of Ebola, says study

far worse than any female strain, obviouslyMen are likely to experience a much more unforgiving and ruthless strain of the feared Ebola virus when it reaches Britain’s shores, a research group consisting largely of males has confirmed today.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
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Jesus H

Mary Berry begins filming gritty new spin-off show, ‘Baking Bad’

compulsive chewingBeloved pastry matriarch and national baking supremo Mary Berry is gearing up to swap her apron and eggs for a gas mask and concentrated methylamine this winter, after the BBC commissioned a gritty new primetime cookery spinoff competition to be titled ‘Baking Bad’.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2014
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