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Other stories by Jesus H

Mary Berry begins filming gritty new spin-off show, ‘Baking Bad’

compulsive chewingBeloved pastry matriarch and national baking supremo Mary Berry is gearing up to swap her apron and eggs for a gas mask and concentrated methylamine this winter, after the BBC commissioned a gritty new primetime cookery spinoff competition to be titled ‘Baking Bad’.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2014
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Jesus H

US pledge to quit bombing things during October

US Secretary of State John Kerry, who reluctantly agreed to the idea, said: ‘It’s going to be tough, but we’ve received some really helpful support packs from NATO on how to control the urges we’re likely to face over the coming weeks.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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Jesus H

iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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Jesus H

Vengeful kids upload pictures of adults returning to work after holidays ‘looking like sh*t’

Facebook is experiencing a major surge in photo uploads from children this week, appearing to show their tired and weary parents returning to work ‘looking like sh*t’ after their summer holidays.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Jesus H

‘Where’s Wally’ search finally called off after body found

The three-decade search for missing globetrotter and time traveller ‘Wally’ was finally called off today, after police discovered the remains of a man in a red and white stripey jumper in the early hours of this morning.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2014
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