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‘I think I’m just an idiot’, admits Boris Johnson in emotional YouTube video

Mayor of London Boris Johnson has come out as ‘utterly clueless about pretty much everything’, in an emotional five-minute YouTube video uploaded today.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2013
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Jesus H

Office Secret Santa ‘an absolute nightmare’, say GCHQ staff

Staff at the British intelligence agency, GCHQ, are ‘dreading’ the return of the office secret santa this year, claiming that the modern festive tradition has become ‘unbearable’, due to strict rules on privacy and ‘smart-arse’ intelligence gatherers.

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2013
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Jesus H

Royal Family finally granted Jennie Bond restraining order

'The name's Bond. Can I have a look in your bin...?'The Royal Family have said they can ‘finally rest easy’ today, after a judge officially granted them a Restraining Order against Royal-super fan and now confirmed stalker, Jennie Bond. The legal injunction, which prevents the 63-year-old from being within three-miles of any Royal residence, has been enforced ‘with immediate effect’, and will ensure that Bond will no longer be able to attend any Royal occasions under the guise of a BBC correspondent.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2013
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Jesus H

Ancient cave graffiti confirms man’s obsession with drawing moustaches on things

cavemen apparently loved knob gagsA medieval hunting forest in rural Essex has given up its secrets to a team of archaeologists this week after six caves, previously hidden for millennia by tree growth and fallen rock, unveiled an impressive collection of ancient drawings and ‘hilarious graffiti’.

The prehistoric doodles prove that man has enjoyed scribbling moustaches and novelty eye-patches on other people’s work for ‘thousands of years’.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2013
More from Science/Technology



Jesus H

Princess Anne’s ‘Horses for Courses’ cookbook tipped for Christmas top spot

most revolutionary culinary tome since reintroduction of scotch eggsRetailers have announced their Christmas sales predictions today, revealing that Princess Anne has a ‘strong chance’ of reaching the festive top spot for December book sales with the launch of her debut cookbook, ‘Horses for Courses’. Said to be the first of its kind, readers will be treated to wide array of equine offerings, from ‘honey-glazed hoof’ to ‘quick and easy tongue sandwiches, straight from the horse’s mouth’.

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Posted: Nov 20th, 2013
More from Celebrity, Lifestyle