NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by John Wiltshire

Nick Clegg to end Libya crisis by arranging AV referendum

The Prime Minister has vowed to ‘finish the job’ in Libya by getting Nick Clegg to organise a vote on the AV system and explain it to Colonel Gaddafi.

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Posted: May 30th, 2011
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John Wiltshire

Premiership footballer embarassed he has no superinjunction

A premiership footballer, who does not wish to be named but is in fact Mark Swindlehurst of Blackburn Rovers, has admitted to being totally embarassed at not having a superinjunction.

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Posted: May 23rd, 2011
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John Wiltshire

Dame Judi’s ‘I’m not bi-polar’ shame

In an emotional interview today, Dame Judi Dench revealed that she is not bi-polar. ‘I find this hard to admit, but I’ve never suffered from mental health issues,’ she confessed. ‘Or been a lesbian. Or taken drugs.

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2011
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John Wiltshire

FA Cup semi-final to be replayed until Manchester United win

Under the new rules introduced by the Football Association, the Manchester United versus Manchester City semi-final is to be replayed until Manchester United win.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2011
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