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Other stories by Long Distance Clara

Old lady passes 60th year in dead-end job

The 86-year-old marked her 60th year in a job which affords her no responsibility, no prospects of progression and absolutely no sense of fulfilment.

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Posted: Jun 15th, 2013
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Long Distance Clara

European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
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Long Distance Clara

MasterChef won by dish of twice-heated beans served on a bed of lightly-toasted bread and dressed in a rich tomato jus

'It doesn't get any better than that!'The BBC’s MasterChef competition has been won by a contestant successfully pulling off his elaborate signature dish of reheated baked beans drizzled over a bed of lightly toasted shop-bought Mighty White and served in a thick tomato sauce.

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Posted: May 5th, 2013
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Long Distance Clara

Ronnie O’Sullivan retires, un-retires, retires again during mid-session interval

Enigmatic reigning World Snooker Champion, Ronnie O’Sullivan, today retired, changed his mind and then reverted to his original decision again during the 10-minute break between sessions in his quarter final match at the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield.

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Posted: May 1st, 2013
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Long Distance Clara

Pope planning ‘massive’ leaving do

God still asleep, not comingPlans are said to be well underway at the Vatican to mark the departure today of Pope Benedict XVI with what Cardinals are excitedly describing as ‘an almighty piss-up’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2013
More from Faith, World News