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Advertisement Feature: This year’s must-have Christmas gift for home and garden – the Plebgate

The perfect gift for anyone wanting an access point for visiting tradespeople and lower-class acquaintances.

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2014
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Long Distance Clara

Man who shook hands with Sepp Blatter apologises ‘for causing offence’

a simple gesture of respect and reconciliation, leaving the other hand free to accept cashA man who yesterday shook hands with embattled FIFA president Sepp Blatter has sought to downplay the significance of his actions and apologise for any offence he may have caused.

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Posted: Nov 25th, 2014
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Long Distance Clara

Rugby to end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and admit heterosexuals

rugger buggersThe International Rugby Board has finally agreed to lift the policy which has sought to bar openly-heterosexual players from the game.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2014
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Long Distance Clara

Mayhem as Ed Miliband recognised in public for the first time

There were confused scenes in Edinburgh yesterday as for the first time in his career Ed Miliband was recognised by bemused members of the public.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2014
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Long Distance Clara

Chilcot report on Hundred Years’ War delayed again

some correspondence still to be redactedThe long-awaited report by the Chilcot inquiry, set up in the wake of the Hundred Years’ War, which ended in 1453, is now unlikely to be published until next year, it has been revealed. The inquiry, which has been sitting for 561 years, was set up to examine the legality of the decision to go to war in 1337 in order that lessons could be learned and future foreign policy blunders prevented.

‘I am confident my report will soon see the light of day,’ said Sir John Chilcot, now aged 617. ‘The British public deserves to know the truth about why their fourteenth-century ancestors were led into war, and whether this decision was compatible with the Magna Carta.’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2014
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