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MasterChef won by dish of twice-heated beans served on a bed of lightly-toasted bread and dressed in a rich tomato jus

'It doesn't get any better than that!'The BBC’s MasterChef competition has been won by a contestant successfully pulling off his elaborate signature dish of reheated baked beans drizzled over a bed of lightly toasted shop-bought Mighty White and served in a thick tomato sauce.

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Posted: May 4th, 2014
More from From The Archives, Lifestyle



Long Distance Clara

Children of sperm donors ‘deserve right to know who father was fantasising about’

any thoughts about the Andrex puppy can be disregardedCampaigners have today called for the offspring of sperm donors to be given the legal right to learn the identity of the person their biological father was mentally getting jiggy with when he donated his DNA.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2014
More from Features, Science/Technology



Long Distance Clara

England cricketers apologise for pissing all over the Aussies

The English cricket team has today issued an apology for the manner of their comprehensive 3-0 Ashes victory over the Australians.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Long Distance Clara

Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

a massive bombardment of salbutamol should sort itSyrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.

‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
More from World News



Long Distance Clara

Wayne Rooney told to choose between hair loss treatments

Unsettled Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has been told that he needs to end speculation about his future and decide once-and-for-all which hair loss product he wishes to be associated with.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
More from News In Brief