NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Other stories by Long Distance Clara

Wayne Rooney told to choose between hair loss treatments

Unsettled Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has been told that he needs to end speculation about his future and decide once-and-for-all which hair loss product he wishes to be associated with.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Long Distance Clara

European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

Read more >

Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
More from Faith, Politics



Long Distance Clara

Ronnie O’Sullivan retires, un-retires, retires again during mid-session interval

Enigmatic reigning World Snooker Champion, Ronnie O’Sullivan, today retired, changed his mind and then reverted to his original decision again during the 10-minute break between sessions in his quarter final match at the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield.

Read more >

Posted: May 1st, 2013
More from News In Brief



Long Distance Clara

After 23 years, Phil Mitchell finally clears throat

More than 20 years after his first appearance on long-running soap opera EastEnders, the popular character of Phil Mitchell has at last got round to clearing his throat, suddenly enabling him to talk like a normal person.

Read more >

Posted: Feb 17th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Long Distance Clara

Advertisement Feature: This year’s must-have Christmas gift for home and garden – the Plebgate

Available in exquisite wrought-iron moulding, this beautiful relic of aristocrat sensibility is the perfect gift for anyone who wants a purpose-made access point for visiting tradespeople and regrettable lower-class acquaintances.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 24th, 2012
More from Features, Politics