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Other stories by Long Distance Clara

Max Clifford gives Metropolitan Police exclusive interview rights

now telling police all about those stories he kept out of the pressIn a major public relations coup, Max Clifford has exclusively awarded the rights to a detailed interview on his sexual history to the Metropolitan Police Service.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2012
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Long Distance Clara

Lance Armstrong tests positive for bullshit

‘After a detailed forensic examination, I am afraid to report that Mr Armstrong’s response to the mounting evidence against him was found to contain unnaturally high levels of bullshit.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2012
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Long Distance Clara

Man kept a record of all Justin Lee Collins’ comedic travesties

A Swindon man, Mr Barry Kent, appeared in court today charged with harassing West Country funny man Justin Lee Collins by keeping a detailed dossier of the comedian’s professional history and using it ‘as a stick to beat him with’.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2012
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Long Distance Clara

Iran conducts test of long-range tickling stick

What a wonderful day for flinging a custard pie in the face of the President of Iran and saying Slam-me-dinner-plate-in-that The surface-to-surface weapon has a range of up to 1,200 miles and has caused panic among Israeli and American diplomats who fear that it could be used to cause outbreaks of squirming and hilarity in the already troubled region.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2012
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Long Distance Clara

Old lady passes 60th year in dead-end job

The 86-year-old marked her 60th year in a job which affords her no responsibility, no prospects of progression and absolutely no sense of fulfilment.

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2012
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