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Bedroom Tax may force Doctor Who to be evicted from TARDIS

requirements for time and relative dimensions in space finally being properly assessed‘We have discovered a single man claiming housing benefit for a property that appears to have an infinite number of spare rooms,’ said Benefits Officer Kimberley Smalls. ‘He is therefore liable for the most severe under-occupancy penalty.’

The decision means the Doctor faces significant cuts to his housing benefit and he may be forced to leave the TARDIS and move to a one-bedroom flat in Neasden.

The spot check by housing benefit officers found that the Doctor has far more ‘spare rooms’ in his 1960s police box than was previously thought. These include a sick bay, an observatory, a library, a secondary control room, several squash courts, an ancillary power station, a swimming pool and an attic.

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Posted: May 21st, 2014
More from UK News



Ludicity

Synthetic life form accuses God of ‘playing science’

spirituality now yours for just £49.99‘I am beginning to think that this omnipotence thing has gone to His head.’

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Posted: May 18th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Ludicity

Political parties given go ahead for new Subliminal Election Broadcasts

public currently still thinking for themselvesFrom next year, the traditional Party Election Broadcast will be replaced by a blipvert that operates below the threshold of human conscious perception. ‘The old party political broadcasts suffered from a terrible flaw,’ explained Tory party strategist Lynton Crosby. ‘As soon as anyone realised they were watching one, they immediately switched over.’

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
More from Politics



Ludicity

Fit-For-Work tests to be conducted by killer robot

you have 10 seconds to comply with this orderFollowing the departure of Atos, the Department for Work and Pensions has awarded the contract for conducting Work Capability Assessments to ‘Benefits Enforcement Droid’ model IDS-209.

The droid, manufactured by Omni Consumer Products, was originally intended for law enforcement and is armed with three auto cannons, one auto shotgun and a rocket launcher.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2014
More from Politics, UK News



Ludicity

Narnia receives scathing TripAdvisor review

it was all in the 400-page brochure, if only they'd lookedThe magical realm of Narnia is in uproar today after receiving a highly critical review on holiday appraisal website TripAdvisor. The review, by the Pevensie family of Finchley, complains of awful weather, rude talking animals and poor quality Turkish Delight. ‘The kids had been pestering us to go for ages, and it was either that or Center Parcs,’ explained Mr Pevensie. ‘However, when we got there it was nothing like the brochures. The weather was terrible and, as far as I can tell, it is always winter there. The talking animals and mythical beasts were ill-tempered and unhelpful while the much famed Turkish Delight was cheap supermarket rubbish and a major disappointment.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2014
More from World News