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Millennium Falcon subject to safety recall

Spaceship manufacturer Corellian Engineering Corporation have been forced to recall their YT1300 series craft after an owner was injured by a faulty door. The Health & Safety Executive insisted on the measure despite the company protesting the warranty on the Millennium Falcon was invalid due to the ship being used for racing, smuggling and to blow up planet sized Imperial spacestations.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2014
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MADJEZ

Job Centre commends escaped robber for finding work so quickly

Bosses at the Job Centre have expressed how pleased they are today following the news that escaped convict Michael “Scull Cracker” Wheatley was able to find work just days after leaving prison.

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Posted: May 8th, 2014
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MADJEZ

Storm hits southern England, dinner parties in crisis

After a hurricane-force storm hit the south of England, food hoarding has led to a run on essentials like olive oil and organic asparagus. Home Counties housewives have recalled stories told by their mothers of the 1987 storm, where families were left unable to the host even the most basic dinner party.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2013
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MADJEZ

Police rescue ginger child from travelling family believed not to be his parents

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2013
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MADJEZ

Hackers regret raiding Barclays as accounts get emptied

vulture capitalism at its finestCyber criminals who hacked a branch of Barclays bank have now given themselves up in the face of catastrophic losses on their account. The scam was running like clockwork after the gang initially succeeded breaking into the system and stealing £1.3 million of customers’ money. However, things started to go wrong after an unsolicited call from Barclays investment arm offering to double their money through derivatives trading.

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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2013
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