NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by Mary Evans

Angel Gabriel to fight extradition over sexual assault claims

A heavenly envoy of the Lord God Almighty has vowed to fight his proposed extradition to Israel to face trial for an alleged sexual assault dating back to 1 BC.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2010
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Mary Evans

Football widows demand better pensions

‘These women represent the unseen consequences of husbands spending season after season supporting one of the principal premier league football teams, or Liverpool.’

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2010
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Mary Evans

Noddy and Big Ears deny ‘improper relationship’

In a move that has shaken Toytown to its building block foundations, Noddy has taken the unprecedented step of releasing a statement in an attempt to quell ongoing rumours about the true nature of his relationship with Big Ears.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2010
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Mary Evans

Guests complain of ‘swingeing cuts’ at Danny Alexander’s daughter’s 3rd birthday

Cake was provided by Mr Laws‘He defended it by saying he was only combating the previous party’s legacy of excess. Maisy Thompson only had a face-painter for Christ’s sake.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2010
More from Politics



Mary Evans

Tennis fans welcome vuvuzelas at Wimbledon

suitable replacement finally found for 'Come on Tim!'News that vuvuzelas and other musical instruments are to be permitted at this year’s Wimbledon has been greeted enthusiastically by tennis fans as they prepare for the tournament next week. ‘Whilst Wimbledon has always maintained a quiet air of English dignity, it’s fair to say that hitherto the games have lacked a certain atmosphere,’ said Derek Howorth, president of the Lawn Tennis Association. ‘But we are confident that players and fans alike will delight in the addition of the South African horns to the spectator stands, playing such rousing anthems as The Great Escape, Self-Preservation Society and Haydn’s Trumpet Concerto in E flat major.’

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2010
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