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Other stories by Mary Evans

Nick Griffin in humiliating climbdown as mic broadcasts ‘moderate Muslim’ gaffe

'should be ashamed of himself,' say party membersThe leader of the British National Party was forced to make a grovelling apology to his party faithful yesterday after an offhand remark extolling the virtues of multi-culturalism in the privacy of his car was inadvertently broadcast to surrounding media. ‘Nick had just been addressing a conference of white van men when he was approached by a local Muslim gentleman, trying to engage Mr Griffin in a debate about the BNP’s stance on Islamic immigration,’ said Griffin’s closest aide, B Manning. ‘The cameras were rolling, so naturally Nick spewed forth about the colonisation of Britain by Islamic extremists.

‘But not realising that his mic was still live, once he was in the assumed privacy of his car, he started waxing lyrical about the need for intelligent debate on immigration, what a great shame it was that a whole faith was tarred by the actions of an extreme minority and how fetching he thought Mrs Griffin would look in a burka.’

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2010
More from Politics



Mary Evans

Eyjafjallajokull public profile massively boosted by TV appearance

A previously obscure Icelandic volcano has benefited from an enormous swell in public recognition after appearing on national television last week with opinion polls now showing that it is almost as popular as Vesuvius.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Mary Evans

School misfits form Glee club, still get shit kicked out of them

A group of socially awkward schoolchildren was disappointed today after discovering that pooling their hitherto secret singing and dancing talents into a performing arts group was insufficient to prevent the ‘right kicking’ that awaits them in school on a daily basis. ‘We hoped that by expressing ourselves through the medium of song, we could prove our worth to a cynical and unkind social hierarchy,’ said Jay ‘big fat gayer who’s so gay even gayers think he’s too gay’ Smith. ‘But our efforts thus far seem only to have reinforced the notion that we are a group of ‘spacks’, ‘lezzers’ and ‘binners’, although we have noted that our aggressors often hum our signature version of Toto’s ‘Africa’ while beating the crap out of us.’

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2010
More from Arts/Entertainment



Mary Evans

Concerns grow for World Cup WAG squad

most likely to be substituted before half-time‘There’s a reason Colleen Rooney is the face of Asda.’

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2010
More from Sport



Mary Evans

Mattel targets gym-slip mothers with ‘Post-Natal Barbie’

princess costume traded in for something more comfyThe leading toy manufacturer behind the perennially popular Barbie doll has announced the world famous doll’s latest evolution in a bid to keep her in tune with current youth trends. ‘Barbie has always been an aspirational brand, so we wanted to ensure her next incarnation was something young girls could really strive towards,’ said a company spokeswoman, who refused to confirm or deny whether the launch was a direct response to Sindy’s Malawian Orphan™.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2010
More from Lifestyle