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Other stories by Midfield Diamond

Opening of M40 pub marks end of Christmas drink drive campaigns

Wetherspoons were pleased to announce the opening of the UK’s first motorway pub this week, days after hundreds of police officers returned to their desk jobs following six weeks of ‘tiresome breathalysing’.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2014
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Midfield Diamond

Coverage of England’s World Cup humiliation to be made exclusive to Sky

punters demanding no hope of ever seeing gamesHaving been saved from much of England’s pitiful performance in the Ashes Tests due to Sky having the exclusive rights, millions of armchair sports fans are calling for similar arrangements for the 2014 World Cup finals in Brazil.

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2013
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Midfield Diamond

Gangs of pensioners conspire to bring country to halt with lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2013
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Midfield Diamond

Footballers whose transfers fell through pledge loyalty to current clubs

In a statement jointly issued on behalf of the players they represent, football agents have asked managers, chairmen and fans to celebrate the loyalty shown by those who didn’t manage to finalise a lucrative move away from their clubs during the transfer window.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2013
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Midfield Diamond

Internet speed ‘slugged’ in West Country to match slow pace of life

In response to customer requests, a Super-Slow Broadband internet service is being rolled out in Somerset, Devon and Cornwall. The advanced technology system recognises the speed at which the local population get things done and adapts response times accordingly.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2013
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