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Other stories by Midfield Diamond

Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’

time's upThe successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
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Midfield Diamond

‘Lager Tourettes’ formally recognised by British Medical Council

The temporary affliction suffered by lager drinkers across the country which causes their language to deteriorate rapidly during a pub session has been officially designated as a medical condition to be known as ‘Lager Tourettes’.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Midfield Diamond

Nothing wrong with fascist principles, claims Referees’ Association

Paolo di Canio has received support from an unexpected source, the national Referees’ Association, which has issued a statement praising the ideology of radical authoritarianism, but only on match days.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2013
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Midfield Diamond

Somerset village cricket team banned for enjoying itself too much

might need a bail outCricketers in the Somerset village of Charlton Pilchered, who finished bottom of their district league last summer, will not be permitted to enter the competition this year.

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2013
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Midfield Diamond

Fashion retailers fear huge increase in men lurking outside changing rooms

does my face look bored in this?Shopping experts and psychologists have today warned of a previously undiscovered side-effect of the closure of high street stores.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2013
More from Health