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Black smoke from Sistine Chapel suggests cardinals smoking ‘some really strong shit’

chill-out organ music playing in the backgroundPractised observers of the papal conclave, which got underway in Rome yesterday, have described the first black smoke to emerge from the Sistine Chapel chimney as ‘thick, potent, and smelling suspiciously of weed’.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
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Kim Jong-un single-handedly saves planet from rogue asteroid

no other person on the planet could have pulled it offThe reason for North Korea’s nuclear test earlier this week became clear today as state television in Pyongyang announced that Dear Leader Kim Jong-un had personally used the weapons to deflect an asteroid which, contrary to vicious Western propaganda, would otherwise have hit the Earth.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2014
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Lost City of Atlantis; ‘we’ve been completely forgotten’

The world’s most famous flooded metropolis entered its fourth millennia under water this week as civic leaders claimed they had been totally overlooked by David Cameron’s government.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2014
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Stars out in force at this year’s Vatican Awards

and the award for best ecumenical matter goes to....As always, it was the dresses that caused the biggest sensation.

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2014
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Dyslexic child ‘was stupid as well’

School Boy‘He’s just dim,’ said Dr Janice Trenter. ‘Someone has to be.’

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2014
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