NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Other stories by Oxbridge

Homeopathic medicines ‘have no homophobic side effects’

‘It’s clinically proven,’ said Rachel Woodruffe, chair of the UK Homeopathic Medicines Association. ‘Take too many paracetamols and even the Guardian-reading liberals among us can suddenly start ranting about “Chinky peasant poofters”.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 17th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Oxbridge

Bollocks, says everyone, as Mayan apocalypse fails to happen

Same time next year, eh lads.There has been widespread disappointment among the planet’s male population as Britain woke up today to find that the Doomsday forecast by the Ancient Mayans’ ‘long count’ failed to happen.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 12th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Oxbridge

Men relish denouncing 1970s sexism while still repeatedly saying ‘tits’

Deep, meaningful, respectful, thoughtful, pert observation somewhere round hereShocking revelations about how senior figures from the world of entertainment got away with sexual harassment, combined with an unlimited appetite for instant nostalgia among those who grew up with Spangles and Raleigh Choppers, are creating an ideal situation for middle-aged men.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 20th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Oxbridge

Everyone now officially an artisan

rustic professionalism, everywhereFollowing the revelation that printers, blacksmiths, cigar pen makers and even quilt rack makers have joined bakers, butchers and cheese makers in using the term ‘artisan’, experts have ruled that absolutely anyone is free to claim to be one. The only conditions are that they have to be unemployed marketing graduates and are not funneling over a thousand tonnes a day of cement powder and cows’ vaginas into a mixer and hoping for the best.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
More from Business



Oxbridge

Northamptonshire named Britain’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity

just passing throughIt was the award a few wanted but only one could have. In the end, it was disappointment for Buckinghamshire, the borough of Chorley and everywhere within a five-mile radius of Motherwell as Northamptonshire won the nomination as the UK’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity (AOGM).

‘Neither quite vile enough for it to be funny, nor possessed of anything that might induce visitors to stay longer than it takes to use a toilet, this most nondescript of counties was a natural choice,’ said Lord Melvyn Bragg, chairman of the judging panel. ‘Its highest point is a mundane 738 feet. Its county flower is the cowslip. Even when Corby ceased to be the largest town in Britain without a railway station in 2009, Irthlingborough succeeded to the title. I could go on, but, you know, life’s too short, isn’t it?’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
More from UK News