Megalomaniac villain Ernest Blofeld has responded vigorously to claims of unsportsmanlike conduct in his treatment of a British agent who penetrated his secret base beneath a volcano in Iceland last week. The agent, unofficially identified as James Bond 007, was immediately executed after being captured by Blofeld’s guards.
Posted: Mar 11th, 2010
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Jimmy ‘Fingers’ Norton, veteran cockney rogue and former chairman of the National Burglars Association of Great Britain has criticised young burglars for their poor dress sense.
Posted: Mar 7th, 2010
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ITV’s Loose Women has formed its own political party and is aiming to win the forthcoming general election. Party leader Andrea McLean vowed to shake Britain out of recession through a trademark mix of saucy banter and female intuition.
Posted: Feb 15th, 2010
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Sandra Connor, a 58-year-old part-time clerical assistant from Dagenham, has made allegations to the Police Complaints Authority of sexist conduct on the part of two officers from the Metropolitan Police’s ‘Flying Squad’.
According to Connor, who was a buxom 22-year-old barmaid at the time, the incident occurred one night in April 1974, when Detective Inspector Regan and Seargent Carter raided the home of her then boyfriend, Frank Miller. Miller, a small-time crook from the East End of London, was suspected of leading a cigarette-smuggling ring.
‘Naturally I was stark naked,’ said Connor. ‘I woke up, sat bolt upright in bed with my breasts jiggling slightly and asked them what the hell they were doing.’
Posted: Feb 12th, 2010
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They blew themselves up, in exchange for paradise. But now many Al-Qaeda martyrs say it is something of an anti-climax.
Posted: Feb 11th, 2010
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