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Other stories by Oxbridge

Everyone now officially an artisan

rustic professionalism, everywhereFollowing the revelation that printers, blacksmiths, cigar pen makers and even quilt rack makers have joined bakers, butchers and cheese makers in using the term ‘artisan’, experts have ruled that absolutely anyone is free to claim to be one. The only conditions are that they have to be unemployed marketing graduates and are not funneling over a thousand tonnes a day of cement powder and cows’ vaginas into a mixer and hoping for the best.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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Oxbridge

Northamptonshire named Britain’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity

just passing throughIt was the award a few wanted but only one could have. In the end, it was disappointment for Buckinghamshire, the borough of Chorley and everywhere within a five-mile radius of Motherwell as Northamptonshire won the nomination as the UK’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity (AOGM).

‘Neither quite vile enough for it to be funny, nor possessed of anything that might induce visitors to stay longer than it takes to use a toilet, this most nondescript of counties was a natural choice,’ said Lord Melvyn Bragg, chairman of the judging panel. ‘Its highest point is a mundane 738 feet. Its county flower is the cowslip. Even when Corby ceased to be the largest town in Britain without a railway station in 2009, Irthlingborough succeeded to the title. I could go on, but, you know, life’s too short, isn’t it?’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
More from UK News



Oxbridge

Britain fears it could be next as Lord Sugar tells Italy ‘You’re fired’

under the old rules, Italy would have walked it‘Britain, you downed 12 pints of lager, tried to start a fight with France and vomited on your shoes. You really need to up your game.’

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2014
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Oxbridge

Derbyshire destroyed as romantic hero smoulders that little bit too much

'George Clooney, and now this!' bemoan spinstersAccording to unofficial reports, most of Derbyshire was destroyed by fire yesterday following an incident in the grounds of Pemberley House, near Lambton.

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Oxbridge

Scare Flu spreads from tabloids to the broadsheets

probably caught it from contact with the tabloids The lethal infection may cause mass panic on a scale not seen since a Scottish swan was supposed to have died from Bird Flu.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2014
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