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Lurpak on offer at Asda, says your wife’s mother at six in the frigging morning

and then she just wants to eat it, for heaven's sakeAccording to sources close to your wife, which during the last five seconds have have been positively identified with her mother, Lurpak is on sale at 40% off in Asda this week. The news emerged in a phone call that woke you 40 seconds ago from a dream about Little Mix playing netball in blue pleated skirts at two minutes past six, for f*ck’s sake.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2015
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Oxbridge

‘Embarrassing Bodies – Greek Mythology Special’ a huge success, says Channel 4

'actually quite common, and easy to get get rid of'‘Viewers have described it as ‘entrancing’, ‘amazing’ and ‘a real eye-opener, especially the Cyclops’.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
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Oxbridge

Anti-immigrant backlash feared as Irish pubs still emigrating in droves

'They're taking over the world, so they are...'‘You have to go where the money is, to be sure, to be sure’

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2015
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Oxbridge

Schoolboy scientist foresaw technology would be used for inane rubbish

told all his friends about it on the 'playground' social network but should have used more smileys‘Chilling prediction of smiley punctuation’

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2015
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Oxbridge

Dog perfectly well aware he’s a good boy

also knows he's a cheeky little scamp, yesh he duzRusty, a three-year-old Yorkshire terrier from Esher, has confirmed that he is now completely convinced of his intrinsic moral decency.

The breakthrough came after his owner, Hannah Morrison, 43, had repeatedly assured him he was ‘a good boy, a good boy, a good good GOOD GOOD goooooood boy’.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2015
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