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Other stories by Peter74940

iPhone5s buyers directed straight to queue for iPhone6

Queuing for Jobs‘The new iPhone 5S isn’t just the greatest smartphone of all time. It’s also your ticket to get first in line for the new iPhone 6,’ said store manager Damian Walsh

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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Peter74940

Comrade Miliband denies lurch to the left

beer and sandwiches, anyone?The Labour Party will not lurch to the left under my leadership, insisted Ed Miliband, as he announced a five year plan to increase coal and steel production.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2014
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Peter74940

Commuters beg Unions to extend tube strike

the fresh air, the view, the mayor of London cycling by...London commuters begged London transport unions tonight to extend the current 48 hour tube strike indefinitely, citing “an immeasurable improvement to our quality of life and general well-being” since suspension of services began.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2014
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Peter74940

Mr Blobby confirmed as new Co-op Chief Executive

has all the required qualificationsMottled 1990s variety performer Mr Blobby was confirmed last night as the new Chief Executive of the ailing Co-operative Bank.
The grinning pink and yellow inflatable would bring to the role of Chief Executive a greater sense of decorum, gravitas and reassurance to the bank’s customers than his predecessor, claimed one insider.

‘We’re delighted to have appointed Mr Blobby to lead our organisation through this difficult period. His name is synonymous with integrity, fiscal responsibility and prudent planning. And he’s thick skinned enough to bounce back from any early setbacks. Literally’.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2013
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Peter74940

Last non-ironic greeting card withdrawn from sale

The card, reading simply 'Happy Birthday Grandma', has been withdrawn from sale following complaints at its 'bland and inoffensive' nature. Its replacement, reading 'Screw you Grandma - you smell of piss' will be in shops from next week.

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Posted: May 28th, 2013
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