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Other stories by Peter74940

Student riots halted by emergency screening of Countdown

A large student demonstration was swiftly quelled yesterday as riot police used massive TV screens to show an emergency edition of Countdown in Central London.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2010
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Peter74940

Grand Old Duke of York ‘livid’ at army cuts

The Grand Old Duke of York reacted with fury last night as it was announced that his fighting force of 10,000 men may be drastically cut back. ‘A cut of 25% could destroy morale – 7,500 men marching around just looks silly,’ he said.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2010
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Peter74940

New iPod Shuffle designed to be inserted anally

And, your music collection will never, ever again be in the wrong order. Guaranteed.Apple CEO Steve Jobs walked awkwardly onto the stage with the tell-tale white headphone cord disappearing into his rectum.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2010
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Peter74940

Gordon Brown apologises for going to the toilet

The Prime Minister issued a dramatic apology tonight after a Sky news crew filmed him through a frosted window engaged in what he later called ‘relieving his bowels’.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2010
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Peter74940

Furious Oxford blame ‘Fatty’ Perkins for boat-race humiliation

Oxford University last night blamed Oliver ‘Fatty’ Perkins for their crushing defeat in the annual boat race, in which they finished some 1¾ miles behind Cambridge.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2010
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