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Other stories by Qoxiivi

Scientists baffled as First Capital Connect train arrives before it should

Britain’s rail operators, the entire scientific community and 1,439 passengers were in shock today as First Capital Connect published tentative proof of their Brighton to Bedford service arriving at London Bridge 20 seconds before it was meant to.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2011
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Qoxiivi

New Bear Grylls cookbook a surprise hit with the middle classes

The book contains favourites like ‘Freshly Squeezed Shit Drippings’ and ‘A Lizard’, and includes no nonsense instructions such as, ‘First, find some shit; fresh is best’ and ‘Grab it, grab it before it gets away’.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment



Qoxiivi

Apple defends new iPhone game, Angry Kurds

throwing Turks at them just makes them even more hilariously angry‘A cheerful trivialisation of ethnic conflicts over the establishment of a separate Kurdish nation, only with more splats and catapults.’

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Qoxiivi

Clowns ‘should travel to work in uniform’

'clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...'‘The psychological benefits of seeing someone struggle through a busy ticket-gate in outsized trousers cannot be overstated.’

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2011
More from Politics



Qoxiivi

Targeted motorist finally displays ‘Baby on Board!’ sign

‘A trip to the garden centre became like trying to drive a convicted psychotic paedophile through a mob. I can’t blame them, though. I mean, how were they supposed to know we had babies on board?’

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2011
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