‘John could have simply expanded into other ethnic groups beyond his stylistic restaurant anti-semitism, but only a world-class xenophobe could reinvent himself in this way.
Posted: Jun 23rd, 2011
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Switchboards at the BBC were jammed last night as angry viewers of Eastenders called in their thousands to complain that the VAT rise to 20% had not affected items seen in the show.
Posted: Jan 10th, 2011
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Unemployed John Prestwick of Barnet was said to be in complete shock last night after bookies made him favourite to take the cinematography Oscar at this years awards ceremony. John was nominated for an Oscar for his pirate version of Hurt Locker that he filmed at the Odeon in Watford with his brother in laws’ camcorder which critics have since praised for adding a gritty, realistic layer to the original film.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010
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Brian Nayar and Mark Bridle, once the greatest of friends have now become the fiercest of enemies after a series of disagreements over a shared memory from their formative teenage years in which one of them apparently urinated out of an upstairs window onto the head of a police officer below. After failing to come to an agreement over which one of them was the urinator and which one was talking to the policeman at the time they both feel they have reached an impasse where only astute legal minds can make the decision for them.
Posted: Dec 8th, 2009
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In the first case of its kind a 40 year old man has married himself in a small ceremony in Weston-super-mare and now intends to spend the rest of his life devoted to making himself the happiest man in the world.
Tony Clarke, a lifelong egomaniac was happily married for 18 years but always suspected something was wrong. ‘Over the years I started spending more time alone and when I caught my reflection I began to hold my gaze for a little longer each time before coquettishly turning away, I would spend hours talking to myself and found I had so much in common with me. Inevitably it wasn’t long before I started seeing myself behind my wife’s back and it quickly escalated into a torrid affair’.
Posted: Nov 26th, 2009
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