NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by Seamus Nottrew

Cabinet proposes that radical ‘next step’ should be governing the country

Following an intense three hour cabinet meeting yesterday, the British government has embarked on a radical, election winning new initiative by turning its attentions to actually governing the country.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2009
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Seamus Nottrew

Big Brother producers forget they have people in the House

Embarrassed Channel 4 production staff have apologised for leaving Big Brother housemates unattended for several days after being distracted by events elsewhere.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2009
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Seamus Nottrew

Undertaker offers ‘Experience Day’ funerals

more and more people opting to bow out in styleA Redditch firm of undertakers is promising to ‘bury the competition’ by offering a range of funerals ‘to die for’. John Starling Funeral Directors have this week launched a range of send off’s that include balloon rides, spa treatments, racing at Brands Hatch, paint balling, and wind surfing. To accompany these they will also offer a savings plan and gift vouchers.

The funeral director’s owner, John Starling, says more and more people are opting to bow out in style. ‘We can offer something in death that the deceased never experienced while they were alive. This is particularly true of our extreme No Way Out funerals where the only certainty is the deceased will come to a highly destructive end. These include the Car Crusher, the Building Demolition, the Hearse Over The Cliff, and The Bomb In The Coffin.’

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2009
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