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Friends of missing Luton family ‘dreading the Christmas newsletter’

Friends and relatives of the family who have joined Islamic State after disappearing in May, say they expect this year’s Christmas newsletter to ‘even more insufferably smug and tedious than usual, if that’s possible.’

The twelve-strong Mannan family from Luton have not been seen since they visited their home nation of Bangladesh earlier this year. Now those close to the Mannans fear the worst: a lengthy mass-mailed screed of anti-Western hatred, mixed with interminable details of their educational and career highlights over the last twelve months.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2015
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Skylarking

E.U. voters deliver damning indictment of complex issues

demands for simpler, more straightforward issues British voters casting their votes in the elections for the European Parliament have sent a clear message to the politicians that they are solidly against them ‘going on about really complicated stuff that we don’t really understand’. A demand for simpler, more straight forward issues is the recurring theme that is emerging from the results across the country.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2015
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Skylarking

McDonald’s World Cup Sponsorship Special Menu

Blatter Special Meal
A special beef pattie is smothered (along with all dissenting voices) by glutenous aged swiss cheese.

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Posted: May 28th, 2015
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Skylarking

Man signs e-petition for something, feels much better

one click away from world domination‘I could feel my social conscience exploding back into life’

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Posted: May 11th, 2015
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Skylarking

George Osborne explains to interviewer that he ‘just doesn’t accept that’

The rebuttal came hot on the heels of a proposition put to Mr Osborne by a news reporter who was interviewing him at the time. ‘I asked the former Chancellor a question regarding his ability to do something or other.’ explained the reporter.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2015
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