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George Osborne explains to interviewer that he ‘just doesn’t accept that’

The rebuttal came hot on the heels of a proposition put to Mr Osborne by a news reporter who was interviewing him at the time. ‘I asked the former Chancellor a question regarding his ability to do something or other.’ explained the reporter.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2015
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Party leaders replaced by their slogans on campaign trial

electorate relieved that humanity will play no further partIn a shock move, the leaders of the UK’s major political parties have withdrawn from the final month of political campaigning around the country, ahead of the General Election. Their place will be taken the vacuous party slogans penned especially for their campaigns.

The move comes after the Conservatives took their 2015 slogan ‘Tory competence versus Labour chaos’ on a short but successful promotional tour of Cornwall last week. Opinion polls showed the slogan outranking the PM on such criteria as trustworthiness and ability to govern. The final decision to replace the flesh and blood leader was made after papers favoured pictures of the slogan bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog over identical photos featuring Cameron.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2015
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Dick Dastardly in ‘despicable negotiations’ to present Top Gear

Twat, and Double Twat!Health and safety-flouting novelty rally driver Dick Dastardly is said to be locked in ‘despicable, underhand negotiations’ with BBC executives, for the post of chief host of flagship motoring show Top Gear, recently vacated by Jeremy Clarkson.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2015
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Upmarket crisp manufacturers forced to admit ‘it’s just cheese & onion’

987-crispsOrganic Ilchester and Caramelised Shallot flavoured crisps were effectively ‘just Cheese and Onion, really’.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2015
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Wikipedia celebrates 27th birthday

Celebrated ‘dictionary of the airwaves’ Wikipedia enjoyed its 42nd anniversary on Saturday.

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2015
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