Physicists in Cern accidentally accessed a parallel universe to our own where the singer is about to start a City and Guilds qualification in Portable Appliance Testing after a year out travelling around Canada.
Posted: Jun 7th, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment
As its share value continued to plummet towards zero in its first week of trading, social media giant Facebook has seen off a major revolt by thousands of furious shareholders by issuing a series of heartwarming and whimsical posts featuring kittens and other adorable internet memes.
Shares in the company were initially made available at $39 each last week. But they plummeted to barely $35 within hours of trading, as new shareholders logged onto Facebook for the first time. ‘I couldn’t believe it. It was just a bunch of solipsistic ramblings and inane platitudes being ascribed to the Dalai Lama,’ bemoaned first-time investor Alex Joseph. ‘All for $39 a pop. Thank you very much Mark fuckin’ Zuckerberg.’
Posted: May 29th, 2012
More from Business
The Coalition Government has hailed the country’s first ever ‘whinge-farm’ a huge success.
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Posted: May 22nd, 2012
More from Environment
The victory follows hot on the heels of the paper’s ‘Say no to badger baiting,’ and ‘End child chimneysweep scandal now!’ campaigns. ‘This is another triumph for our incredibly-worthy-but-also-slightly-dull style of campaigning’ exclaimed Independent editor Chris Blackhurst.
Posted: May 17th, 2012
More from News In Brief
Nokia were today trumpeting the launch of the N0M8s ‘Smart Human’ device. The much-hyped device, which is implanted in the skull, is being lauded as a major advance in fourth generation wireless communication. The N0M8s will enable the users to fulfil most of the functions of existing phones. Customers who have the N0M8s implant will [...]
Posted: May 11th, 2012
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