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‘NobNomination’ craze sweeps through Westminster

‘Often the nominee is compelled to make a complete knob out of him/herself, modelling bespoke high-viz waterproof gear that has clearly never seen mud before the photo opportunity or dare.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
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Squudge

Avian privacy group slams RSPB ‘mass surveillance’

everything they do is known to the authoritiesAvian rights activists are demanding answers from the government today after the Guardian published tweets from an insider at the RSPB, indicating the shocking extent of directed surveillance against birds.

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2015
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Squudge

UN asked to intervene in Obama-Cameron ‘bromance’

US and UK set to veto any end to 'relations'The UN has been called upon to act ‘swiftly and decisively’ amid worsening affection between Barack Obama and David Cameron at the Whitehouse last week. Public decency is said to be in tatters after lurid scenes of togetherness between the US president and his ‘bro’ were aired on prime-time television with no warning. Rumours that Cameron referred to Obama as his ‘homie’ are mercifully unconfirmed.

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2015
More from Politics



Squudge

Cancer charity launches ‘F*ck My Luck’ TV campaign

Cancer charities are celebrating today after the breakthrough discovery at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine that the majority of cancers are attributed to bad luck rather than environmental or genetic factors. Professor Naills Joffrey, 42 (age and BMI), gestured with a cheeseburger while describing the findings.

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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2015
More from Health



Squudge

State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a dangerous virus that was supposed to be someone else’s problem arrived on Great Britain’s shores last night, having entered the country via a consignment of infected Apple devices. The virus is said to have already reached epidemic status.

The BBC have reacted by broadcasting public service messages giving information on how to delete the ‘e-Bono virus’ from infected phones and iPods, though nothing can be done about alleviating the early-onset symptoms, which include ear infections, drowsiness, and ‘ranting about Bono’s wrap-around specs’.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
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