After automatically saying ‘Happy New Year’ to everyone he had spoken to for the first time since 31st December, office worker Jon Knowles thought nothing of greeting his first caller of the day with the same cheery sentiments only to hear a shocked gasp from his colleagues.
Posted: Jan 21st, 2012
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The outbursts of emotional distress at the funeral of leader Kim Jong-il have not been witnessed on the streets of Pyongyang since news of the tragic death of Diana, Princess of Wales, reached North Korea fourteen years ago.
Posted: Dec 29th, 2011
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‘All we are asking for is a fair draw for the presents,’ continued the shepherd. ‘It’s the same story every year. We wrap up a lamb, struggle down the green hillside to visit the baby and stick our secret Santa present under the manger. But invariably we end up leaving with nothing other than some cow crap on our Jesus sandals.’
Posted: Dec 25th, 2011
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Despite the economic climate or perhaps because of it, retailers are reporting healthy sales of 2013 calendars a full year ahead of 1st January 2013.
‘Sales of year after next products are positively booming,’ reported a WH Smith’s spokesman. ‘We don’t think this is a measure of confidence in the future, so much as a reflection of the pessimistic forecasts for 2012. People just want to look beyond the next gloomy 12 months. We are categorising them as optimistic pessimists and are doing our best to cater for this fast growing sector.’
Posted: Dec 21st, 2011
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A church nativity play was halted yesterday when a live donkey, booked to add a sense of reality to Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem, was found outside Kirkdale’s St Patrick’s Church Hall having had its legs removed.
Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
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