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The news before it happens…

Other stories by Stan Laurel

Employee suspended for saying ‘Happy New Year’ after firm’s 12-day deadline

After automatically saying ‘Happy New Year’ to everyone he had spoken to for the first time since 31st December, office worker Jon Knowles thought nothing of greeting his first caller of the day with the same cheery sentiments only to hear a shocked gasp from his colleagues.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2013
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Stan Laurel

Theatre regrets hiring former Archbishop of Canterbury for pantomime season

'It's all behind you! Oh no it is!'‘It was a baptism of fire for all of us,’ admitted Communications Manager, Kate Raines, reflecting upon hiring former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, for this year’s pantomime Aladdin at the Theatre Royal, in Winchester.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2013
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Stan Laurel

OAPs wield nudity weapon in fight against cutbacks

A group of elderly ladies from Buxton has promised not to issue a nude calendar this Christmas – provided the public pledge sufficient funds to keep their day care centre open.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2012
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Stan Laurel

Unmarried middle-aged uncle won’t be putting kisses on cards this Christmas

'Santa doesn't exist, by the way. He's just me.'Unmarried uncle of four, Derek Johnson, has decided not to put kisses on the Christmas card he is sending to his nephews and nieces this year.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2012
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Stan Laurel

Record winning bid on tomato at Waitrose

‘We are seeing considerable growth in the market at the moment’ said auctioneer Brendan Southgate, ‘This particular tomato has some bruising damage from the vine twig, but as many owners are ‘distressing’ their soft fruit for a vintage look, it only added to the saleabiltiy.’

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2012
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