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Other stories by StoopyDeGunt

Customer ignoring just got better – with the new complicated electronic till from Brewer-Sharp

customers having to wait up to four-deep to be servedBrewer-Sharp Systems, makers of software for pub tills, has succeeded where generations of video conferencing and meeting room systems have failed. It has invented a simple method for instantly gathering the entire staff of a pub in one place.

‘Simply install a new electronic till in a pub and, in minutes, the entire staff will be gathered around it, staring it as if waiting for aliens to emerge from the mothership,’ said MD Fee Brewer.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2014
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StoopyDeGunt

Karate expert fails to take opportunity to demonstrate his powers

The Union of Arseholes who do Martial Arts has moved swiftly to discipline one of its members, after he failed to demonstrate his skills on a vaguely interested member of the public.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Southerners evoke blitz spirit to defy horrific centimetre thick blanket of snow

London’s chirpy cockneys, chinless hoorays, plucky ethnic types and evil middle class do-gooders united as one yesterday to send a defiant message – ‘mustn’t grumble’.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Britain ‘chuffed’ with name-check in George W. Bush book

Haven't been so happy since Ronald Reagan only slightly mis-pronounced 'London'A carnival atmosphere erupted as it was discovered that the small island nation had been name-checked in the former president’s memoirs – and not just once!

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

America stood shoulder to shoulder with us over terrorism, says Gerry Adams

Gerry Adams has been criticised for getting his historical facts wrong in a speech during his American tour, in which he alluded to the war.

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Posted: Nov 8th, 2010
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