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Other stories by StoopyDeGunt

Pulling string out of own arse is worst part of yo-yo dieting

A poll of yo-yo dieters has reached an unexpected conclusion that took pollsters completely by surprise. A thousand weight watchers were asked ‘What’s the worst thing about yo-yo dieting?’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Prisoners to be offered ‘shitty job that just covers mortgage’ sentence option

Offenders are to be offered an alternative to incarceration. Instead they can be sentenced to a shitty unrewarding job, with a bullying boss who takes out his self loathing on underlings, for a salary that just about covers their outgoings.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Fury as political correctness leads to ban on the phrase ‘political correctness gone mad’

‘Well meaning but ill thought out officiousness should now be described as ‘political correctness suffering from a mental health issue that affects one in three people’.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Mel Gibson to re-launch career with ‘What Women Want 2 – A Good Kicking’

Gibson will 'knock 'em dead' in new roleHollywood producers confirmed today that the hotly-anticipated sequel to Mel Gibson’s box-office smash ‘What Women Want’ will hit cinemas in December in time for the Christmas heavy-drinking and domestic violence season. The film – subtitled ‘What Women Want? I’ll Tell You What They F***ing Deserve’ – is said to showcase all Gibson’s talents and has been described by critics as ‘an absolute belter’.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Council ends racism, child abuse and bigotry through unlimited pamphlet printing

guidance available for everything‘Our next target is to cure cancer with a series of awareness-raising magazines that engage the youth of the borough.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2010
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