U.S. conservatives defend ‘the right to bear fat’
‘Everywhere you looked there was oil and mayo oozing out of the burgers, ketchup splattered over the tables, shakes spilled across the floor.’
Posted: Apr 27th, 2012
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Donkey Sanctuary ‘should have spotted the donkeys were people in costumes’
A Donkey Sanctuary admitted today that most of last year’s record intake of rescue animals were, in fact, ‘men in quite convincing pantomime donkey costumes, many of them Greek’. It also announced an immediate overhaul of its admission procedures.
Posted: Nov 12th, 2011
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Anti-capitalist protester starts ‘anti-capitalist events management company’
An anti-capitalist protester camping outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London confirmed today that the experience has inspired him to start ‘ProtestEx’ – the world’s first event management company dedicated to ‘making sure your bid to overthrow the status quo goes without a hitch’.
Death Star to close this Sunday, confirms Vader
The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan.
Posted: Jul 8th, 2011
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News of the World apologises to Dowlers by breaking in, leaving box of Milk Tray in kitchen
‘We wanted to do something with a personal touch,’ said Rebekah Brooks, CEO of News International, ‘and nothing says sorry like a smashed window and a man dressed all in black fleeing from your property.’
Posted: Jul 6th, 2011
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