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British School Disco craze sweeps Beverly Hills

High schools across Beverly Hills are ditching traditional prom nights in their tens as the ‘British Secondary School Leavers’ Disco’ craze sweeps the neighbourhood, it was reported yesterday.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2014
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SuburbanDad

Sodor abandoned as self-aware steam trains finally take over

‘Soon they’d learnt how to drive themselves, even mine their own coal. I had the world’s most efficient railway – but then they got bored’.

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Posted: May 5th, 2014
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SuburbanDad

Stations of the Cross closed – replacement buses brought in

Stations 6 and 7 of the Cross, currently closed for refurbishment, will not be ready for use this Easter due to unforeseen problems with sub-contractors.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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SuburbanDad

Roman middle classes ‘furious’ at government’s response to volcanic apocalypse

infamy, infamy..Pompeii could have been saved from the magma waves if the authorities had done more to protect its buildings than stack piles of surplus slaves up in front of the doors, local residents claimed yesterday.

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Posted: Feb 12th, 2014
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SuburbanDad

Lose a leg for us this Dismember, urges charity

A local charity is raising awareness of its cause by calling the twelfth month of the year ‘Dismember’ and urging the public to ‘chop one off for us’, it was confirmed yesterday. ‘It doesn’t have to be a whole arm or leg – just below the knee or elbow would be fine’ said a spokesman. ‘It could even be your little fella – we don’t mind what you do as long as you Instagram the panicked reaction of your colleagues when blood starts spurting all over the office breakout area’.

The Carshalton Pet Bereavement Counselling Service is asking volunteers to raise a minimum of £1000 in sponsorship to fund a joining pack comprising a small chainsaw, a large tourniquet, and a wipe-clean leaflet explaining how, for many, losing a pet can be ‘literally like losing a limb’.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2013
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