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Other stories by SuburbanDad

Gamekeeper job ‘does not help me poach’, claims poacher

A poacher who works as a gamekeeper during the week has denied that the job conflicts in any way with his weekend role of ‘the best damn poacher you ever saw’, in the same wood.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2013
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SuburbanDad

Chinese refurbishment of Prince Philip ‘poses no security risk’

'don't make fuss', the Duke is reported to have saidThe contract to refurbish Prince Philip has been awarded to Chinese telecommunications giant Huawei, it was confirmed yesterday, despite ongoing security concerns about the company’s links to the Chinese government.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2013
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SuburbanDad

Sodor abandoned as self-aware steam trains finally take over

The Fat Controller was airlifted to safety yesterday after a pack of feral tank engines overran his house, forcing him to admit plans for a steam-driven island had gone terribly wrong.

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Posted: May 31st, 2013
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SuburbanDad

Thatcher ‘risen from the dead’, claim Thatcherites

immediately forgave Tebbit for forsaking herJust three days after her death, followers of Margaret Thatcher are claiming their leader has come back to life. Unconfirmed reports suggest she has appeared across Britain, still preaching the ‘good news’ of monetarism and a robust fiscal policy, and looking transfigured by the whole death experience.

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2013
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SuburbanDad

English Christmas Markets take Germany by storm

Towns across Germany have reported record numbers of people deserting their traditional Christmas Markets in favour of newer imports from England. ‘We were all getting bored of gingerbread, wooden toys and gluhwein,’ said Alex Reichelt, mayor of Nurnberg, ‘and everyone fancied something a bit more exotic – fake Duracells, toy dogs with hidden spikes, cheap womens’ knickers with the label of the shop they were nicked from cut out. The English have given us all this – and more!’

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2012
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