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Dazzling reshuffle marks start of Coalition closing ceremony

Lib Dems competed despite only having one Clegg‘The thing I’ve loved about this government is that it’s showcased the abilities of British ministers, not their disabilities, which clearly include incompetence, venality and hypocrisy,’ he said.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Nation’s husbands call for lawnmower ban

oh, go on, please?!Four UK water companies have lifted the last hosepipe bans, triggering calls by Britain’s husbands to introduce a lawnmower ban instead in order to prevent dangerous levels of nagging about the state of the nation’s gardens.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Electorate send horrified BNP leader to work with foreigners

'They're disgusting!'British voters have forced the leader of the British National Party Nick Griffin out of the country after electing him as a member of the European Parliament as a wind up. ‘Now they’re saying they want me to go and work with hundreds of disgusting foreigners’ Griffin whined.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Nancy Cameron in failed bid to distract David Cameron from cocking anything else up

Nancy Cameron has apologised to the nation after her bid to distract her father from cocking anything else up by hiding in a country pub ended in failure.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Daily Mail holds swearing-at ceremony for new French president

Will this man cause the price of your house to CRASH?The Daily Mail has welcomed the new French president, Francois Hollande, with a lavish swearing-at ceremony to mark his first day in office.

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Posted: May 15th, 2012
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