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Liberal Democrats attempt largest salvage operation in history

serious cracks could appear at any momentA major salvage operation is underway in Glasgow, where a team of engineers are said to be ‘extremely pessimistic’ about their chances of successfully resurrecting a sunken political party, the Liberal Democrats.

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Posted: Sep 16th, 2013
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The Paper Ostrich

Nixon’s ghost ‘still banging on about China’, reveals Frost’s ghost

In his first journalistic foray since unexpectedly passing away on a cruise ship last week, Sir David questioned Nixon’s spirit during a four-hour exchange, nearly forty years after they first met in California.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2013
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The Paper Ostrich

PM unveils curbs on ‘exploitative, degrading, irritating’ Royal baby coverage

determined to shut down access to baby pornEvery household in the UK is to have endless, vacuous reporting of the birth and infancy of the Royal baby blocked by their internet provider unless they choose to receive it, David Cameron has announced.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2013
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The Paper Ostrich

Triple-dip latest: Jubilant Chancellor ‘ready’ for outpouring of national gratitude

The ever-popular Chancellor, George Osborne, has led a wave of national jubilation after the wonderful news emerged that the UK has avoided a triple-dip recession.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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The Paper Ostrich

Ghost of Christmas Future ‘in despair’ after visit to George Osborne

if only he could realise it's not about the money, or even understand what money is. Merry Christmas, one and all.‘He didn’t even bat an eyelid when I showed him what would happen to poor little Tiny Clegg,’

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2012
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