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Electorate send horrified BNP leader to work with foreigners

'They're disgusting!'British voters have forced the leader of the British National Party Nick Griffin out of the country after electing him as a member of the European Parliament as a wind up. ‘Now they’re saying they want me to go and work with hundreds of disgusting foreigners’ Griffin whined.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Nancy Cameron in failed bid to distract David Cameron from cocking anything else up

Nancy Cameron has apologised to the nation after her bid to distract her father from cocking anything else up by hiding in a country pub ended in failure.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Daily Mail holds swearing-at ceremony for new French president

Will this man cause the price of your house to CRASH?The Daily Mail has welcomed the new French president, Francois Hollande, with a lavish swearing-at ceremony to mark his first day in office.

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Posted: May 15th, 2012
More from World News



The Paper Ostrich

Leveson Inquiry delayed to allow time to appoint Parseltongue translator

‘We can’t go on like this any longer,’ Lord Leveson declared. ‘I only asked her to confirm her name and position, and her eyes immediately rolled back into her head and she started whispering ‘Si a-hashii’eth’ over and over.’

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Posted: May 11th, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Google unveils first driverless government

‘We have completed a two-year pilot of the new driverless government, which has been running Britain with surprising success the whole time,’ said the project spokesman Nick Clegg.

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Posted: May 9th, 2012
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