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Other stories by Wrenfoe

‘Manspread’ to replace butter

The online Oxford dictionary has added the act of ‘manspreading’ as a low-fat alternative to ‘moisturising your toast’. This somewhat unconventional spread involves rubbing cooked vegetables on the inner thighs of a hirsute man; this condiment then releases water-in-fat emulsion combined with the heady aroma of a festering jock-strap.

The origins of manspread date back to the Napoleonic era, when aroused Frenchmen would regularly ferment cream in the folds of their ‘nether regions’. Subsequently this butter substitute has proved very popular among dieters, who claim that calorie intake is significantly reduced when food is smeared in unappetising man juice.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2015
More from UK News



Wrenfoe

Chinese economy to become largest online betting site

Betfair, Paddy Power and ‘all our pension funds’ are set to merge into the world’s most irresponsible gambling company – China™.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2015
More from World News



Wrenfoe

Reality TV needs to be more inclusive for Eton & Oxbridge graduates

‘If anything, the talent show format – of taking a moderately-talented under-achiever and then imbuing them with great wealth and power – should be the perfect vehicle for Eton’s boys’

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2015
More from From The Archives



Wrenfoe

Britain to reopen Embassy World Snooker in Tehran

British politicians have confirmed that Tehran and London are to restore diplomatic ties with a celebration of the golden age of Ray Reardon’. Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond will visit Iran and play a series of match play events against 1991 World Champion, ‘chirpy’ John Parrott, heralded by a special performance by Chas & Dave doing Snooker Loopy on the Iranian Tar

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2015
More from News In Brief



Wrenfoe

Female libido pill to replace Harry Styles

Sprout Pharmaceuticals have released a new drug, Flibanserin, which is said to be guaranteed to have the same impact on the female sex drive as sitting on Russell Brand’s knee.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2015
More from Science/Technology