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Nigel Farage fears ‘rivers of congestion’

it's all black and white!Alluding to Enoch Powell’s prophetic warning in 1968, the UKIP leader claimed that Britain’s waterways will soon be clogged up with east Europeans on barge holidays. Speaking to supporters, Mr. Farage reportedly referred to ‘the River Tiber foaming with much blood, shopping trollies and regattas of benefit tourists’.

Likewise he spoke of his concern that all the first-class seats on public transport were now reserved for ‘single mothers from Albania’.

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
More from Politics



Wrenfoe

Festive Jumpers: Are they the new black?‏

lighten up... it's Christmas!What’s snuggly, fun and covered in Santas? Of course, the answer is Stripper Elves; but to some it is festive jumpers. Up and down the country, designers ask the same question – is Christmas-themed knitwear what’s hot? To which the answer is no. Simply, no. No, no, noety no. No. For the love of God, no! Yet Britain’s retailers interpret this as a resounding ‘maybe’; with every garment now coming with an obligatory chestnut being spit-roasted by an open fire.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
More from Lifestyle



Wrenfoe

Riots as US runs out of bullets

US citizens just dar gone ran outa languageAt 1.36 Eastern Standard Time the United States of America officially declared that they had run out of ammo. The ensuing chaos has seen riots and looting in twelve major cities, as a bewildered populace struggle to come to terms with the loss of their favourite past time – shooting classmates, Beatles and ‘anyone who isn’t an albino’.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2014
More from World News



Wrenfoe

England refuse to win the World Cup in protest

they think it's all over...In a bold statement of principle, the English Football Association has agreed to forego any chance of winning a trophy in order to pressure FIFA into reforming. Despite knowing that any team with Chris Smalling in it is bound to achieve Euro and World glory, the FA has insisted we will turn our back on this ‘dead cert’ unless Qatar relocates to the North Pole, FIFA rejects their Mob accountancy and Sepp Blatter admits he is Keyser Söze.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2014
More from Sport



Wrenfoe

‘Money spent on Rosetta could have bailed one of us out’, moan banks

10 years to blow £1.1 billion? Hopeless!Despite costing a meagre £1.1bn and possibly changing the course of human civilisation as we know it, the banking community has been quick to dismiss the Rosetta Space Mission as a ‘frivolous boondoggle’.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2014
More from Business