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Teachers remembering how much they love teaching

no more detention for at least six weeksAs their second week of holiday looms, ink stains fade and the Prozac leaves their system, most teachers are reminded just how rewarding their job is if only they could phase out their students. As one relaxing classroom assistant commented: ‘It’s not that I hate the children, I ‘m just saying its nice to be without my nervous twitch, sense of impending doom and the irrational desire to adopt the foetal position every time I see hear a school bell’.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2014
More from Education



Wrenfoe

Wonga.com offers to ‘save souls’

lie now, pray laterPayday loan company Wonga has hastily announced plans to diversify and offer unsecured ‘high-cost salvation’ in response to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s recent decision to offer Church of England payday loans.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Wrenfoe

Israel shuns peace deal in favour of a good PR firm

Mr Happy Tank wants you to come out and playThe Israeli Knesset has rejected the Gaza peace proposal put forward by US Secretary of State, John Kerry, in favour of a modest 12-hour truce – purposely designed to be long enough for Israeli soldiers to get a good night’s sleep, identify new targets and reload their missiles. A spokesman for Prime Minister Netanyahu has made it clear that what is really needed is a ‘…tabulated program of action to earn public understanding and acceptance’ codenamed ‘Turd Polish’.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2014
More from World News



Wrenfoe

US to introduce border height restrictions

US border guards having to look harder to find themIn order to combat the flood of unaccompanied children through its southern states, the US is planning to implement a scheme which bans anyone who still watches ‘Sesame street’, needs help tying their shoe laces or still believes in the tooth fairy. While some fear this might unfairly target Republican nominee Rick Perry, most agree to the rewording of the Statue of Liberty: ‘Give me your tired, your poor…but no one under four foot eight’.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
More from World News



Wrenfoe

Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′

As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon.

Against the backdrop of a geo-political tsunami, William Jefferson Hague has announced his decision to resign as the UK’s Foreign Secretary, retire as an MP next election and focus on building a ‘start-of-the-art Anderson shelter’ in his back garden.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
More from Politics