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Other stories by Wrenfoe

Elderly Bishops approaching death suddenly see ‘wiggle room’ with right to die

Despite the word of God being ‘absolute’, senior retired members of the clergy are increasingly of the opinion that the gospel is less a set of rules but more of a ‘guideline stroke cryptic crossword’. Specifically, the previously opposed Assisted Dying Bill is receiving ringing endorsements from ex-Bishops who are coincidently ‘feeling under the weather’, en route to a care home and nearing the ‘episcopal glue factory’.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
More from Faith



Wrenfoe

Daily Mail joins long list of Clooney rejects

Read it and weepFollowing in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to finally accept that the ‘grey fox’, George Clooney, will never hold them in his big strong arms.

The newspaper’s jealous response to Mr. Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin has led to Clooney refusing to accept phone calls, bouquets of roses and romantic editorials about ‘stinky immigrants’ from the lovesick tabloid.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
More from Celebrity



Wrenfoe

‘We’ll always have the bikini wax’ says a resolute Brazil

Last night the streets of Rio were lined with shell-shocked football fans, discarded yellow shirts and, as the year ended in 14, predictably rampant Germans. As a nation grieved and distanced itself from FIFA merchandising, Brazilian officials were quick to emphasize that it was ‘no big deal’ and that their real passion was actually for ‘the smooth framing of thongs’.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Wrenfoe

British Gas ‘may have sold Gas’

Energy markets were thrown into confusion over revelations that the UK’s biggest supplier of nuisance phone calls, spurious bills and mis-sold contracts may have inadvertently provided ‘actual energy’ to their customers.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Wrenfoe

Woman refuses to give birth in Primark

not even the 50% off signs could tempt her inDespite being wracked with labour pains and hobbled by a small head erupting from her vagina, an unnamed 28-year-old woman from Birmingham has been hailed as a hero for resolutely refusing to be lulled by Primark’s promise of cut-price designer wear and give birth in the shop.

As her waters broke, her cervix dilated and her 25%-off voucher expired, the woman dragged herself away from the lure of a sale on floral dresses. Groaning as her membranes ruptured, every maternal instinct made her abandon a rail of bargain kids’ clothing in the hope that her child would be born to a better future, with better stitching.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
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