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Other stories by Wrenfoe

Miliband asks for ten years to fix Manchester United

Time's upIn a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a decent centre half and holding midfielder would be sufficient, a Labour spokesman insisted it would take a long-term economic plan to improve results, clone Ryan Giggs and change the word ‘United’ to ‘City’ on the stationery.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
More from Sport



Wrenfoe

$1bn to fight Ebola, if Ebola agrees to be a bit more ‘Islamist-y’‏

a threat to world stability even worse than Nouri Al-MalikiPresident Obama has offered to send 3,000 American troops to Liberia to help fight the virus outbreak, on the proviso that Ebola adopts a more Jihadist approach. In turn the US industrial arms complex has said it has billions of dollars worth of weaponry waiting to be sold the moment Ebola declares a fundamentalist Islamic state, grows a beard or ‘discovers oil’.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2014
More from Health



Wrenfoe

England to release Scottish hostages

Regardless of the outcome of the Scottish referendum, Prime Minister David Cameron has agreed in principle to release the thousands of Scottish citizens being held in captivity south of the border. Many have been forced into high paid banking jobs, Ministerial roles or lucrative singing contracts on the Britain’s Got Talent.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Wrenfoe

‘Death on holiday’ tops list of things no-one has sympathy for

It'll be fine...Summer marks that time of year when British holidaymakers begin their annual cull of the most idiotic by leaping drunkenly from balconies, ignoring ski helmets or combining scuba diving with outboard motors. Those unable to afford such expensive jaunts, naturally, respond with the same levels of commiseration normally reserved for small children banging their heads on tables after being told not to run.

So apathetic are our levels of sympathy for the newly deceased on holiday that one sociologist commentated: ‘Being eaten by wild animals is natural selection for the rich, as a person of average income would never see a polar bear outside of a zoo. For those on a tight budget, they are now equating death on safari with voting for Nick Clegg – something you just brought on yourself.’

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2014
More from Lifestyle



Wrenfoe

One in ten fire-fighters ‘not fit enough’ to be novelty strippers

...there's always some sexy paperwork to be done back at the stationA nationwide fitness standard is to be introduced, which will include ‘weight training’, ‘whipped cream guzzling’ and ‘gyrating’ for an hour to ‘It’s Raining Men’.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2014
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