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Other stories by Wrenfoe

Pepper spray drones to target middle class dinner parties

terribly interesting story rudely interruptedThe South Africa-based arms manufacturer, Desert Wolf, has secured sales to a mining company wishing to ‘stamp out’ illicit middle-class soirees and those who overstep the international boundaries of dinner party etiquette. To this end ‘Skunk Drones’, disguised as ornithological pepper mills, will spray anyone seen to be ignoring dress codes, arriving late without a gift for the hostess or ‘using the wrong soup spoon’.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2014
More from Science/Technology



Wrenfoe

US Republicans: ‘Gay workers’ rights will only extend to the hot ones’

always cheerfulBarack Obama has been criticised by right wing opponents that his recent gay rights legislation will infringe on free-markets; but they have been absolutely clear that this judgement in no way should be interpreted as a homosexual slur: ‘…Heck, no – no siree, Bob!’. By differentiating between federal and private employees, Republicans are concerned that this could lead to lawsuits, a hike in oil prices and Government agencies creaming off all the best looking homosexuals for themselves.

Many gay rights groups are surprised by Republicans vociferous stance against the new legislation on economic terms: ‘…because they could have sworn the House of Representatives was ever so, a tinsy winsy bit, ragingly homophobic’. Not so, answer their critics, pointing towards a raft of liberal legislation they would have approved: ‘…if only someone had set them to the songs from the shows.’

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2014
More from World News



Wrenfoe

Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
More from Sport, World News



Wrenfoe

Britain unsure if it wants to be more or less ‘rapey’

Justice for allThe Director of Public Prosecutions, Alison Saunders, is hoping to dispel the ‘myth’ that insufficient evidence should ever dissuade the police or courts from pursuing newspaper headlines with meaningless statistics.

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2014
More from UK News



Wrenfoe

1D-Day celebrations commemorate the death of music

if it wasn't for our brave boys, they'd be called 'Eine Richtung'Veterans, historians and girls with retainers are united today in marking 1D-Day a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome lacklustre hair, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of France. Former groupies, internet trolls and serving members of the armed forces all paid their respect for the loss of melodies, the death of legible tattoos and remembered just how many ears had paid the ultimate sacrifice.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment