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Teachers remembering how much they love teaching

no more detention for at least six weeksAs their second week of holiday looms, ink stains fade and the Prozac leaves their system, most teachers are reminded just how rewarding their job is if only they could phase out their students.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2015
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Wrenfoe

Alan Sugar ‘intake’ should be halved

Scientists have recommended cutting our media exposure to millionaires with their own reality TV show and love affair with an under-performing football team. Advisers on nutrition say that by exceeding our 5% of daily televisual Sugar, budding entrepreneurs will believe success comes with no overheads, no VAT and a ‘blagged’ interview with Claude Littner.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
More from Health



Wrenfoe

Greek credit rating identified as new pentaquark particle

Tsipras particle only discovered last yearScientists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHCb) have announced the discovery of one the smallest forms of matter, that of Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras’ savings account. Having already transformed into a financial ‘black hole’, the Greek economy is now comparable in size to George Osborne’s conscience, Donald Trump’s Presidential chance or how much anyone cares about the new series of ‘True Detective’.

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Posted: Jul 14th, 2015
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Wrenfoe

Swingers’ festival ‘used loud music to drown sounds of bonking’

Despite complaints from local residents about noise levels, organisers of the Swingfields festival in the Forest of Dean have insisted that their blaring disco music was ‘better than the sound of constant squelching’.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2015
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Wrenfoe

Chelmsford man holds referendum on paying his bills this month

Paul Willis of Chelmsford has taken the unusual step of opting out his financial responsibilities while at the same time demanding that his neighbours continue to send him food parcels and mow his lawn. Inspired by the Greek people, the 66-year-old hairdresser took a detailed poll of all those living at his address, including the cat, and received a unanimous mandate to stop paying his mortgage, tipping waiters or funding future Christmas presents.

‘I have taken a democratic decision to ignore my existing debts and I would ask my creditors to respect that,’ Willis told the Chelmsford Reporter. ‘To begin with I was a little unsure, but choosing not to pay has been a great weight off my shoulders. And to those I owe money to I would say, please keep putting things on my tab, I’ll settle up eventually – honest.’

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2015
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