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Other stories by Wrenfoe

US to introduce border height restrictions

US border guards having to look harder to find themIn order to combat the flood of unaccompanied children through its southern states, the US is planning to implement a scheme which bans anyone who still watches ‘Sesame street’, needs help tying their shoe laces or still believes in the tooth fairy. While some fear this might unfairly target Republican nominee Rick Perry, most agree to the rewording of the Statue of Liberty: ‘Give me your tired, your poor…but no one under four foot eight’.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
More from World News



Wrenfoe

Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′

As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon.

Against the backdrop of a geo-political tsunami, William Jefferson Hague has announced his decision to resign as the UK’s Foreign Secretary, retire as an MP next election and focus on building a ‘start-of-the-art Anderson shelter’ in his back garden.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
More from Politics



Wrenfoe

Elderly Bishops approaching death suddenly see ‘wiggle room’ with right to die

Despite the word of God being ‘absolute’, senior retired members of the clergy are increasingly of the opinion that the gospel is less a set of rules but more of a ‘guideline stroke cryptic crossword’. Specifically, the previously opposed Assisted Dying Bill is receiving ringing endorsements from ex-Bishops who are coincidently ‘feeling under the weather’, en route to a care home and nearing the ‘episcopal glue factory’.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
More from Faith



Wrenfoe

Daily Mail joins long list of Clooney rejects

Read it and weepFollowing in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to finally accept that the ‘grey fox’, George Clooney, will never hold them in his big strong arms.

The newspaper’s jealous response to Mr. Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin has led to Clooney refusing to accept phone calls, bouquets of roses and romantic editorials about ‘stinky immigrants’ from the lovesick tabloid.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
More from Celebrity



Wrenfoe

‘We’ll always have the bikini wax’ says a resolute Brazil

Last night the streets of Rio were lined with shell-shocked football fans, discarded yellow shirts and, as the year ended in 14, predictably rampant Germans. As a nation grieved and distanced itself from FIFA merchandising, Brazilian officials were quick to emphasize that it was ‘no big deal’ and that their real passion was actually for ‘the smooth framing of thongs’.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2014
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