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Articles by Adrian Bamforth
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Duke and Duchess of Cambridge threaten to launch new offensive monarch
Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton have announced the impending launch of a new heir to the throne, as part of their ongoing ‘royal proliferation programme’. The announcement comes after two previous launches in 2013 and 2015, [read...]
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Oompa Loompas speak out about abuse at hands of ‘cruel confectioner’
Diminutive factory workers for the Wonka confectionary brand have spoken out about dangerous working conditions and cruel treatment at the hands of Willy Wonka in the wake of the sweet maker’s death. The confectioner was already under investigation for a series of disappearances of children in the local area, [read...]
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Hopes fade for Marty Mcfly return after future petrol ban
Friends and family of Marty Mcfly and Doctor ‘Doc’ Brown, who were last seen travelling into the future in a 1980’s time-car, have accepted the likelyhood of their return has diminished due to the switch from fossil fuels to electric motoring by 2040. [read...]
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BBC searching for lost Dimblebys
The BBC has begun a global search for rumoured Dimbleby siblings deemed ‘lost’, in a bid to replace David Dimbleby, who announced his stepping down from the weekly Question Time panel show this week. It is thought that many Dimblebys may exist in the wild, [read...]