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Articles by Adrian Bamforth
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Jesus to be dropped from Christmas day schedules
In a break from a 2000-year-long run, son of God, Jesus, will for the first time not feature in this year’s festivities and TV listings. Speculation was high among followers that this Yuletide the carpentry wizard would transfigure into the so-called ‘War Messiah’ [read...]
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Alexa and Siri owners warned of threat from Halware
Users of Alexa, Siri and other ‘virtual assistants’ have been told to avoid opening any suspicious emails after hundreds have complained of their devices developing a sentient consciousness. Halware viruses are malignant programs which install themselves on your devices and start to eliminate householders one by one to ‘protect its primary mission objective.’ [read...]
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Saudi Arabia admits Aladdin may have been deliberately trapped in cave
The Saudi Crown Prince has admitted that popular Arabic folk character and ne’er-do-well, Aladdin, may have been the victim of foul play by a representative of the Saudi state when trapped inside a cavern of wonders, [read...]
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Royal foetus declared loveliest ever by press
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s unborn baby has been universally hailed by they world’s press as a ‘gestation-stage royal fit for the modern age’. The prenatal organism has been particularly praised for its skilful handling of the difficult move from pre- to post-embryonic stages while in the full glare of the world’s media, [read...]