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Internet to go online only
The Internet has announced that it is to cease publication of its daily print editions this week, while winding down its weekly editions with a view to becoming online-only by the end of the month. [read...]
Articles by Adrian Bamforth
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Breakfast cereal mascots stand united on Lidl ban
Characters representing some of the nation’s best loved cereals put on a show of unity today in the wake of the decision by Lidl to ban cartoon effigies from its breakfast treats. Outside Lidl London headquarters, [read...]
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Labour to create new day of the week
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has announced plans to create a new day of the week on commencement of a Labour government. Bennday, named after the pipe-smoking left-wing politician from the internet, Tony Benn, will fall between Sunday and Monday as an official ‘day of contemplation and progressive hobbies’. [read...]
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Ronald McDonald faces sack after admitting to tryst with Hamburgular
McDonald’s clown Ronald McDonald is facing the prospect of being fired by the restaurant chain after admitting to a consensual encounter with related burger mascot The Hamburgular. The liason, which took place behind the bins at McDonald’s, [read...]
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Terrorist group UKIP announces new leader and vows revenge
So-called UK Independence Party (UKIP), the once-feared terror organisation, has confirmed the termination of its leader, Richard Braine, and has vowed to ‘avenge the party’s enemies’ with ‘refreshed waves of divinely ordained havoc’. In a recording posted on its propaganda channel, [read...]