Octogenerian moon dweller Man on the Moon, beloved of the 2015 John Lewis Christmas ad, is to become redundant as part of the latest wave of cuts made by the retailer. The news was conveyed to him via a giant display screen reading ‘sorry, [read...]
A woman in Westminster has been confirmed as the latest victim of the Boris Virus, a condition which leaves female victims with a swollen abdomen and nausea for a period of approximately nine months. Its chief carrier is known to be largely dormant outside of election periods though the public are warned that exposure can cause immediate vomiting, [read...]
The owners of the Watergate complex in Washington DC have admitted they are unable to continue to maintain all properties named after scandals since 1972 suffixed with the word ‘gate’, while building new ones for current scandals. [read...]
The Internet has announced that it is to cease publication of its daily print editions this week, while winding down its weekly editions with a view to becoming online-only by the end of the month. [read...]
In a break from a 2000-year-long run, son of God, Jesus, will for the first time not feature in this year’s festivities and TV listings. Speculation was high among followers that this Yuletide the carpentry wizard would transfigure into the so-called ‘War Messiah’ [read...]
