A man who holds himself out as a ‘Consultant’ and unable to pinpoint what duties he performs, is 110% certain that he performs actual work, it has emerged. So-called ‘Consultant, Alan Small said, ‘What’s my job? [read...]
A man is reeling at the revelation that his best friend since childhood is a professional violin player and not a government assassin with a regular kill list. [read...]
Friends are becoming increasingly concerned for a man who visited the restaurant toilet over 20 minutes ago, unaware that he remains unable to commit to any one of the seven available urinals. Colin Dobson is getting a right sweat on and an increasingly agitated bladder, [read...]
Ex-SAS soldier, but not really, and inexplicable TV personality, Bear Grylls has been awarded an OBE, for services to – amongst other putrid activities – drinking faecal liquid drained from an elephant’s humungous turd. Grylls said: ‘The art of literally eating excrement and drinking p*ss for the purposes of entertainment has long been ignored, [read...]
The National Crime Agency is investigating an alleged scam involving older people taking out over-50s life insurance shortly before flying one-way to Switzerland, armed with nothing but a small carriage clock. An agency spokesperson said, [read...]
