38-year-old John Simmons from Basingstoke is feeling pretty impressed with himself after placing his sole effort of wrapping under the Christmas tree. Simmons commented, “I thought I’d go the extra mile this year because the missis has had such a tough one what with me pretending to work full-time at home while she home-schooled the… [read...]
Leader of the House of Commons and immaculately polished turd, Jacob Rees-Mogg claims Dickens’ classic novella ‘A Christmas Carol’ has been sabotaged by the left as a political stunt, it has emerged. Rees-Mogg said: ‘There is nothing the Marxists won’t do to re-write history and that includes meddling with classic literature. [read...]
Boris Johnson issued a stern warning to the public not to have a huge Christmas with extended family, but with serious winking and body language that kind of suggests you should all just crack on and smash it, [read...]
The irritated canine said, ‘I mean they can’t even muster up the merest charade of mystery by putting it in you know, a box. No. Let’s just wrap the bone up like a bone and put it next to the massive PlayStation 5 you bought for the ten-year old little prick that just gives you shit all of the time. [read...]
A man has realised that the time of year has arrived for the necessary roasting of a big ham joint, it has emerged. Dave Jones from Daggenham said: ‘At Christmas time big-ham-making falls under the man’s purview. [read...]
