Joe Wicks has been told by a nation on the edge that now is not the time for his made for slow-mo flowing locks and abs that won’t quit, it has emerged. The initial nostalgic familiarity associated with Wicks’s announcement to resume his daily PE lessons-slash-soft porn videos next week was swiftly replaced by the… [read...]
The backpackers – obviously mostly British – who flouted Australian COVID-19 rules by partying at a Sydney beach on Christmas Day, only did it to remind us they are twats, it has emerged. The plan clearly worked as footage of the young revellers in Santa hats and boarders that were shared on social media immediately screamed ‘twats’ within a few seconds of viewing. [read...]
38-year-old John Simmons from Basingstoke is feeling pretty impressed with himself after placing his sole effort of wrapping under the Christmas tree. Simmons commented, “I thought I’d go the extra mile this year because the missis has had such a tough one what with me pretending to work full-time at home while she home-schooled the… [read...]
Leader of the House of Commons and immaculately polished turd, Jacob Rees-Mogg claims Dickens’ classic novella ‘A Christmas Carol’ has been sabotaged by the left as a political stunt, it has emerged. Rees-Mogg said: ‘There is nothing the Marxists won’t do to re-write history and that includes meddling with classic literature. [read...]
Boris Johnson issued a stern warning to the public not to have a huge Christmas with extended family, but with serious winking and body language that kind of suggests you should all just crack on and smash it, [read...]
