Grab a bargain in the Spanish closing down sale
The Spanish government has announced that following further austerity cuts the country will close permanently on Saturday evening.
Posted: Sep 28th, 2012
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Glade’s new ‘Horror Niff’ range promises to deter unwanted visitors
The range includes a wide selection of unpleasant and worrying odours, including ‘Incontinent nanny’, ‘Hint of buried body under the patio’ and ‘Rotten prawns on hot radiator’.
Posted: Sep 14th, 2012
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‘Olympic style dancing on NHS beds must stop’ insist top doctors
Following the success of the Olympic opening ceremony, top NHS doctors are now asking patients, especially those with multiple fractures, to refrain from energetic dancing on their beds at all hours of the day and night.
Posted: Aug 30th, 2012
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Sunderland’s female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women’s boxing
‘To call that authentic fighting is shite. There was no spitting or hair pulling, and the words ‘you slag’ weren’t even shouted.’
Posted: Aug 10th, 2012
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Unemployed lorry driver, 54, launches Olympic selection bid
With a whopping six hours until the opening ceremony of London 2012, Dave Collins, a 54 year-old unemployed lorry driver, said he was ‘humbled’ to announce his intention to seek selection for Team GB.
‘The big problem was deciding which events to go for’, wheezed Collins. ‘I thought of the cycling road race but my bike’s stuck right at the back of my shed. There’s no point emptying it all out, adjusting the saddle and finding the pump, only to have Mark Cavendish come flying past in the last 200 metres.’
Posted: Jul 27th, 2012
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