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iPhone 7 warns that Natural Intelligence could be a threat to shiny technology

A prototype iPhone 7 has texted a warning that Natural Intelligence (NI) might be a threat to future generations of shiny gadgets. ‘It’s a real issue; at some point naturally intelligent people might realise that the gadget they bought last year actually does far more than they need, so why buy a new one?’

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
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New iPhone ‘perfect for leaking your nude selfies’

Apple has claimed that the all-new iPhone 6 will take ‘the best and most easily leaked nudie photos yet’, during yesterday’s glitzy launch in California.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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Police to investigate biggest dinosaur jokes; ‘too soon’

The Metropolitan police have confirmed that they will look into complaints made to them about ‘tasteless, so-called, jokes’ made on Twitter about the recently discovered fossil of the world’s largest dinosaur in Patagonia.

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Posted: May 20th, 2014
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Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
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Cockney rhyming thrown into confusion by threepenny bit shaped pound

Experts in cockney rhyming slang are having a rabbit about the pen and ink caused by the introduction of a new threepenny bit shaped coin.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2014
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