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ITV4 schedulers to assist with dredging operation

‘We needed someone with expertise for pulling out old rubbish from the depths and they ticked all the boxes’, said a council spokesman.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2014
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Druids working round the clock to restore ley lines

Druids pledging to get it right any day nowThe council of British Druids have been working through the night to restore ley lines which have been damaged by recent storms. Many households have been without spiritual energy throughout the Yuletide holiday which has affected psychic connections in many parts of the country.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2013
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Power companies reduce Christmas bills by cutting off power

‘Normally, we spend a fortune on heating, lighting and TV but all that’s been saved by this brilliant initiative.’

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2013
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Discovery of weather balloon dismissed as ‘part that fell off flying saucer’

Enthusiastic weather balloon collectors have been disappointed to learn that the balloon they collected was simply an unidentified component of an alien spaceship.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2013
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apepper

Schools to introduce extra lessons for kids to turn off porn filters for parents

‘Once the new porn filters take effect, parents’ first port of call will be to ask their children to sort out the problem.’

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2013
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