Uncapped player retires from England squad
‘I find myself nearing the end of my meaningful playing career…’
Posted: Sep 9th, 2009
More from From The Archives
Other stories by behavedave
Obama stripped of title after failing drug test
The newly elected United States President is to be stripped of his title, after a random drugs test revealed that Mr Obama’s urine sample, which was provided immediately before the final Presidential debate, was found to contain ‘above average’ levels of banned substances.
Posted: Nov 7th, 2008
More from Politics, World News
Celebs call for action to save dwindling horizon
Top celebrities have called for urgent international co-operation after it was revealed that man’s activities on Earth are now threatening the horizon itself. Bob Geldof, Sting and Madonna are among the stars who are planning a huge concert to highlight the plight of the diminishing horizon, which scientists estimate could disappear completely by 2050.
Posted: Apr 23rd, 2008
More from Environment
Restraining order for lover who sent drummers, dancing ladies and geese
The Metropolitan Police have issued a restraining order against a man accused of conducting a twelve day campaign of harrassment and intimidation – which last year ruined a young woman’s Christmas and caused thousands of pounds worth of damage to her house.
Posted: Jan 3rd, 2008
More from UK News
Bush: ‘Iran has Mythological Weapons’
President Bush made a speech to Congress today in which he made a compelling case for military action against Iran – on the grounds that they were now in possession of so-called ‘Mythological Weapons’.
Using top military intelligence gathered from Wikipedia, Mr Bush stated ‘Iran has openly admitted that it has been seeking to gain control of mythological weapons for many moons. We always knew they had Angra Mainyu; a giant of a man with a spotted body and two horns. We now know they also have Aži Raoiita, or Red Dragon. We have sattelite evidence they are prepared to use Aži Višapa, the Dragon of Poisonous Slaver, and Gandarša the yellow-heeled monster of the sea that can swallow twelve provinces at once.’
Posted: Nov 7th, 2007
More from World News
