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Other stories by blokefromstoke

World’s worst pedestrians gather in Oxford Street for 2014 World Championships

years of training and sacrifice, but mostly sacrificeThe pavement classic ranks alongside the Paris Marche de Imbecilite and the New York Jostle n’ Sneer.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2015
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blokefromstoke

Michael Gove unveils revisionist history syllabus featuring “World War Fun!”

Your country needs ME!Out goes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig as a ruthless incompetent and in comes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig the caring sensitive, people-friendly line manager.

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2015
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blokefromstoke

Man threatens suicide under pressure of Candy Crush Saga requests

any other sort of crush momentarily preferable“No more! No effing more! If I want to play Jelly Splash, I’ll pigging well play Jelly Splash!”

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Posted: Feb 11th, 2015
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blokefromstoke

Overcrowding on London Midland train creates dark matter from passengers

Overcrowding on a London Midland service to Crewe from London Euston earlier today reached a critical point when the densely packed passengers fused together to create dark matter and the beginnings of a black hole.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2014
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blokefromstoke

Yanukovich emerges from hiding as branch manager of Carphone Warehouse

every sale endorsed by president Putin himselfThe fugitive Ukranian premier Viktor Yanukovych has emerged as the manager of a branch of Carphone Warehouse at the Arndale Centre, Accrington.

Branch salesperson Greg Mottram said ‘I turned up this morning and there was no sign of Debbie, the regular manager, just this Yanukovich bloke. when I asked where Debbie was, I was told she’d been sent into ‘internal exile’. When I asked where to, I was told Rochdale which, you know, is a bit harsh.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2014
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