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Yanukovich emerges from hiding as branch manager of Carphone Warehouse

every sale endorsed by president Putin himselfThe fugitive Ukranian premier Viktor Yanukovych has emerged as the manager of a branch of Carphone Warehouse at the Arndale Centre, Accrington.

Branch salesperson Greg Mottram said ‘I turned up this morning and there was no sign of Debbie, the regular manager, just this Yanukovich bloke. when I asked where Debbie was, I was told she’d been sent into ‘internal exile’. When I asked where to, I was told Rochdale which, you know, is a bit harsh.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2014
More from World News



blokefromstoke

Creepy guy in gym ‘just watching’ for 35th straight minute

The rather creepy over-muscled guy by the weights equipment is STILL just stood there watching according to nervous patrons of Club Physique Gym in Stoke on Trent. ‘He hasn’t used any equipment.’ says gym user Gary Wardle; ‘he’s just stood there holding a water bottle with a towel over his shoulder,sipping occasionally and watching the overweight middle-aged guy on the treadmill just a little bit TOO intently’.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



blokefromstoke

Fiery globe seen in skies – call for virgins to appease gods

There was tumult and fear in the land earlier today when a globe of fire appeared in the eastern skies and stayed there without interruption for much of the day.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2014
More from News In Brief



blokefromstoke

Centrepiece of Sochi Opening Ceremony to be ice dance by Putin in lycra catsuit

The Russian Olympic committee has made a surprise announcement that President Vladimir Putin will take part in the Opening Ceremony of the Sochi Winter Olympics, clad in a puce and aquamarine ice-skating catsuit as ‘The Spirit of Russian Manhood’.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



blokefromstoke

50′s stereotypes welcome reintroduction of Common Entrance Exam

so much better then1950’s stereotypes everywhere have given a ringing endorsement to Education Secretary Michael Gove’s plans to extend the Common Entrance Exam to state schools in an attempt to disabuse “uppity oiks” of any misguided aspirations towards higher education they may have been allowed to foster.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2014
More from Education