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Scientists claim 2013 may have shortest February on record

predictions made after consulting horoscopesResearchers at the Institute for Applied Theoretics, in Basel, France, claim that climate change is increasing the risk of shorter Februaries, and predict that in 2013 the month will be exceptionally short.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2014
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Premier League match abandoned after no-one brings a ball

Warnock's dad could take van Gaal's dad any dayLast night’s Premier League fixture between Manchester United and Crystal Palace was abandoned after it turned out that neither team had brought a football with them.

“We’re very upset”, Palace manager Neil Warnock stated, “because last season we took our own ball to Old Trafford and they promised they would bring the ball next time.”

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2014
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Scotland to be allowed to choose their own plot directions in EastEnders

'it ain't wurf it'In yet another concession towards Scottish nationalists, Westminster has announced that from Summer 2015 Holyrood will be able to take control of plot and character development in the version of EastEnders broadcast in Scotland.

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2014
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Lost tribe found in Amazon warehouse

no-one knew they were there or how primitive were their living conditionsThey are known to walk great distances every night in their box hunts, the going is tough, and many do not survive.

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2014
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Farage suggests ‘Casual Racism Fridays’ for UK businesses

Nigel Farage has outlined a new manifesto pledge requesting the support of British businesses to promote their new ‘Casual Racism Fridays’ campaign, which he hopes to see adopted by the vast majority of UK businesses before the next election.

‘For too long the hard-working English nationalist has had to keep his views and opinions to himself during the business week to avoid being, at best, labelled as insensitive and at worst caught up in corporate disciplinary procedures’, the UKIP leader said today.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2014
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