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Other stories by bonjonelson

Police to not investigate historical sex abuse claims that happened on odd years

In order to save costs the Metropolitan police have announced that they will no longer directly investigate any historical sex abuse claims that happened on odd numbered years – years such as 1967, 1975 and, of course, 1983.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2015
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NASA blames slow WiFi for delay in Pluto photos

Frustrated engineers at NASA are still waiting for all images to be downloaded from the New Horizons probe due to low bandwidth and network problems in the Pluto area.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2015
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85 dead after Prince Philip unveils plague at bridge opening

Health authorities have confirmed that a total of 85 people have died and over 120 are still in a serious condition in hospital after Prince Philip accidentally released a plague at the opening of a new footbridge over the River Thames due to a typographical error.

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2015
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New Testament prequel ‘paints God in a darker light’ warn critics

Critics are warning life-long admirers of the religious classic ‘The New Testament’, that forthcoming prequel ‘The Old Testament’, reveals a much darker side to fans’ beloved hero, God, portraying him more as a genocidal maniac.

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Posted: Jul 14th, 2015
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Baker refuses to decorate ‘World’s Best Dad’ cake

‘At first I couldn’t understand why she had written such a thing,’ said Sonia Walkinshaw. ‘I know that Laura’s dad recovered from brain cancer and he did that charity climb on Kilimanjaro, but even so, no-one’s dad is better than mine.’

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Posted: May 23rd, 2015
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