Trampolines in gardens across the land are to resume their usual roles as lawn-knackerers and collectors of shite from tomorrow, it has been confirmed. The news comes after the ten-foot wide monstrosities enjoyed three days of being bounced upon by happy children during the unseasonably hot weather. [read...]
‘I would have done so even if you’d been going twice the speed, as my time is more important than yours.’ [read...]
The conviction of a Leeds schoolboy for polluting the local atmosphere was quashed in the High Court today. Michael Jones, 13, had raised concerns about a particularly smelly fart produced during a year 8 English class, [read...]
The naked fries listed on the food board at £7.25 for a small container are, when it boils down to it, effectively chips, the manager at a hipster food outlet begrudgingly admitted today. The news was revealed by Michael O’Mahoney, [read...]
The ubiquitous request as to whether anyone has any other business to raise, made by a chairperson at the end of millions of meetings daily across the world should, under no circumstances be taken up, [read...]
