Simon Cowell announced a crackdown on poorly constructed judges’ comments on X Factor today, after revealing that he has sought the advice of classical Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle in an attempt to boost ratings in forthcoming Series 14. [read...]
‘No ‘ totals’ under Obama. Last one under Flakey Jim Carter and only partially visible in Oregon! Let’s make America dark again!’. [read...]
U.K. negotiators were accused of underestimating the complexities of post- Brexit controls outside a customs union today, after publishing its long awaited proposals for border arrangements. While David Davis has already declared that he plans to leave by a magical back door, [read...]
Legendary Greek warrior Achilles was a sucker for a good chick flick, and regularly enjoyed binge-watching Jeremy Kyle whilst eating Arctic roll with Angel Delight, it has been revealed today. Newly released files from the Athens National Archives, [read...]
A Colchester driver has had the wool pulled over his eyes again by ingenious global petroleum companies, through their clever use of fractions of pence in their pricing, it has been revealed. Steve Vickers subconsciously made the assessment that 114.9 pence per litre was ‘significantly less’ [read...]
