In the midst of the Coronavirus outbreak, a nation-wide shortage of hand sanitiser is causing panic among members of the public largely unfamiliar with soap and hot water. Fortunately, the Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has been quick to provide a simple solution that promises to be effective for both hands and cocks. [read...]
With some virologists warning of a nation-wide Coronavirus epidemic, Britain remains optimistic that Michael Gove will self-isolate himself from anyone who has the expert knowledge and skills to keep him alive should he catch the potentially fatal illness. [read...]
Since Britain left the European Union two-weeks ago, one Mrs Farage has been trying to remind her husband Nigel that he is now free to regrout the grotty old tiles in the bathroom. “I asked Nigel to do something about those tiles back in the spring of 1992,” [read...]
The UK’s goats, cripples and single women can once again expect to be burdened with all of the nation’s sins and then cast out into the wilderness, or sometimes sacrificed, now that membership of the EU can no longer be blamed. [read...]
Greggs – the popular high street bakers and ground zero for coronary thrombosis – is hoping to make its vegan customers feel even more welcome by employing sales assistants that contain no meat whatsoever. The company’s new Head of Veganomic Affairs, [read...]
