Following the news that more people applied for Love Island than Oxbridge this year, Oxford and Cambridge Universities have announced that all applicants will now be required to have either a ripped six-pack or a banging bikini body, [read...]
To counterbalance the crime of ‘hate speech’, Her Majesty the Queen has asked parliament to enact a Bill criminalising ‘Love Speech’ after Pastor Curry mentioned the word 978 times a minute during Harry and Meghan’s wedding. [read...]
A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a ‘bunch of arse’. [read...]
Tory MPs broke into excited chants of ‘build the wall, build the wall’ when a hard border between Camden and the rest of London was suggested. Boris Johnson led the calls, suggesting Camden was not sending its best people to Westminster. [read...]
British robotic scientists suffered a major setback when their showcase model, the Maybot29118X badly malfunctioned at a prestigious showcase event. The near life-like robot, fitted with semi-advanced AI designed to show it could feasibly pass-off as the Prime Minister, [read...]
