A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a ‘bunch of arse’. [read...]
The problem of moped gangs should soon disappear after fed-up Londoners booted out the ineffectual Cressida Dick and voted to ‘go mediaeval on their sorry arses’. Family gibbet-making businesses, who have not recorded a sale since 1834, [read...]
Following the news that more people applied for Love Island than Oxbridge this year, Oxford and Cambridge Universities have announced that all applicants will now be required to have either a ripped six-pack or a banging bikini body, [read...]
Chilean football coach Manuel Pellegrini has woken up badly bruised and beaten, and found he had been robbed of all his dignity after being appointed the new manager of West Ham. Pellegrini said he was out with his wife, [read...]
Three small jars of Marmite due to be flown out of Heathrow, have been unloaded and safely destroyed at a biochemically secure government facility [read...]
