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Police to introduce controversial ‘Stop and Deport’
‘Basically anyone that doesn’t regularly wear Union Jack undies, doesn’t love massive queues, and can’t recite at least 20 lines of dialogue from ‘Zulu’ is in big danger.’ [read...]
Articles by daneade
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Government to Erect Statue of Burglar
A brave burglar, who heroically died while merely trying to provide the latest electronic equipment for his family, is to have a statue erected in his honour. His relatives were pushing for sainthood and a burial in Westminster Abbey but are still pleased with the government recognition. [read...]
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WW3 Pencilled in for this weekend
Brits have been advised not to plan too many activities this weekend as World War Three is tentatively scheduled to break out at some stage. The Met Office issued a warning that WW3 is likely to bring considerably more disruption to travel than last month’s ‘Beast from the East.’ Even though it sounds bad, [read...]
![4/13/15 12:09:06 PM -- Richmond, VA, U.S.A -- Scientists Susan Liegey, foreground, and Deborah Doyle work in a Biosafety Level 3 lab at Virginia's Division of Consolidated Laboratory Services. Photo by H. Darr Beiser, USA TODAY Staff ORG XMIT: HB 132954 Biolabs in your 4/13/2015 [Via MerlinFTP Drop]](http://www.newsbiscuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Biolab.jpg)
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KGB Wants its Money back on Novochok
Not-so-deadly Russian nerve agent Novochok has been proven to be about as harmful as a dodgy dose of Chicken Vindaloo, say disgruntled KGB assassins. The spy agency is returning all stocks of Novochok back to the lab to be re-tested on all those who voted against Putin in the recent elections. [read...]
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Aussie cricket team defects to Russia
The entire Australian Cricket team has defected to Russia and captain Steve Smith has said that any teams putting up a fight against them could be in trouble. ‘Let’s just say that, for example, some guy scores a century against us, [read...]