Tory MPs broke into excited chants of ‘build the wall, build the wall’ when a hard border between Camden and the rest of London was suggested. Boris Johnson led the calls, suggesting Camden was not sending its best people to Westminster. [read...]
British robotic scientists suffered a major setback when their showcase model, the Maybot29118X badly malfunctioned at a prestigious showcase event. The near life-like robot, fitted with semi-advanced AI designed to show it could feasibly pass-off as the Prime Minister, [read...]
The BBC has announced that the new format for the Tory party leadership debate will be an enormous booze-up at Boris Johnson’s flat, followed by a full-on screaming match and the throwing of cutlery. Boris Johnson has formally invited Jeremy Hunt to come over to his for 4 or 5 bottles of pinot, [read...]
A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a ‘bunch of arse’. [read...]
The problem of moped gangs should soon disappear after fed-up Londoners booted out the ineffectual Cressida Dick and voted to ‘go mediaeval on their sorry arses’. Family gibbet-making businesses, who have not recorded a sale since 1834, [read...]
